


whatever doesn't make me stronger kills me

by howelnlester (expectopatronuz)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Gryffindor!Dan, Harry Potter AU, I'll add tags as they become relevant, M/M, Nakedness, Seventh year Phil, Sixth year Dan, Triwizard Tournament, but during the events of the gof, but should be pretty tame, hufflepuff!phil, mentions of drowning (but no one does), tagging teen for language and some magical violence, the slowest of burns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 10:17:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 34,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13074786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/expectopatronuz/pseuds/howelnlester
Summary: The hall grew tense – it was just the Hogwarts champion left. Angelina was leaning forward in her seat, Cedric Diggory has his fists clenched on the table in front of him. Phil was watching Dumbledore with an unreadable expression – he wasn’t smiling anymore, his eyes were hard. His shoulders were relaxed but there was something in the way he was sitting – he wasn’t tense, he wasn’t nervous. He almost seemed determined.or, in Dan's sixth year, the Triwizard Tournament returns to Hogwarts, as if he needed another damn thing to worry about.





	1. The Triwizard Tournament

**Author's Note:**

> wow!  
> This has been a really long time in the making, and I'm really excited to start posting it!  
> Massive thanks to phantangled and phanwithdogs on tumblr for listening to every tiny detail of this story before I even got fully into writing it, you guys have given this fic the life it has!
> 
> the title is from Astoria by Marianas Trench

                The spring before, when Professor McGonagall had to nearly drag Dan into her office to talk about his future, he decided that he’d work in Wizarding Law.

                Sort of. She’d sat him down, offered a plate of sandwiches, and asked him what he was planning to take for his N.E.W.T.s. He’d shrugged and shoved a sandwich in his mouth, but she’d stared at him with a freakish stillness; probably a cat thing.

                He’d gulped loudly, and sighed to himself when she didn’t flinch. “Charms, I think. And Transfiguration, obviously,” he’d grinned, and she smiled wryly. “I guess Potions, I don’t know. I like Ancient Runes, too.”

                She’d huffed a breath, and leaned forward slightly. “You do, I believe, exceed in Defense Against the Dark Arts?”

                He’d nodded, “I tend to exceed in just about everything, professor.”

                “It seems to me,” she’d continued, ignoring his comment, “that you have an interest in the subjects that an aspiring Auror would be required to take.”

                She’d looked wary, to Dan, and he wondered how many of her students had come to her with dreams of fighting for the good guys.

                “I like Care of Magical Creatures, too,” Dan had pointed out, “and I hate Herbology, so not an Auror, right?”

                Professor McGonagall had sighed deeply. “You know that you’re smart, Howell, and you know that you’ll do well enough on your N.E.W.T.s.”

                He’d nodded, and pressed his lips together. He loved that McGonagall was his head of house – he was the kind of person that did best when taught with a no-nonsense attitude. But he could never seem to get her point before she made herself completely clear.

                “Do you even have any idea of what you may like to do after completing your N.E.W.T.s?”

                And so after an hour of deliberation, suggestions, and grumblings, Dan had walked away with a pamphlet titled “Careers in Wizarding Law” and even less of a vision of his future than he’d had when he’d walked in.

 

                Dan thought about his career advice from McGonagall as rushed through Kings Cross, his trolley wobbling and his mother at his heals.

                “You have your charms book, right?” she called, and he flinched from the noise.

                “Mum! The muggles!” he huffed, head turned so she could hear.

                “Sorry, Daniel,” she didn’t lower her voice, and he rolled his eyes. His mum was one of those witches – just no regard for the muggle community. “The book? You packed it?”

                He sighed again. “It was on the counter, by the bread basket?” he swerved around a big red-faced man with a briefcase, and didn’t bother to turn to look for his mum’s nod. “Then yes, I have it.”

                “And you have that bag of treats I packed? For the rat?”

                “Her name is Suki and you know she’s a cat—”

                “Did you pack it? Oh, I suppose I can send it if you forgot—”

                He reached over the handle of his trolley to straighten Suki’s case on top of his trunk. She blinked her little blue eyes once at him, then flopped her head down onto her paws. He hit a bump in the floor and she rolled without waking – she was tiny enough that it was a feat. He should buy her a new case, he assumed she’d grow into the normal cat sized one, but she never had.

                She didn’t seem too bothered though, so he left her alone and swerved around a bin to finally reach the platform. He slowed to a more casual pace to avoid a scene but didn’t stop, already late as it was.

                He passed through and began to scan the crowd – it seemed like every year there were more and more first years, and the platform was full of parents and families. It wasn’t hard, though, to spot Phil’s black fringe after a moment, tall as he was.

                Phil was facing away from Dan, gesturing wildly as he spoke to his mum. Phil’s brother was there too, although he was years out of Hogwarts now. Phil was leaning with one arm on his trolley, and his owl sat in her cage atop it, glaring at him wearily.

                As Dan approached he saw the wheels of Phil’s trolley start to roll, and he made eye contact with Phoebe, and the poor owl screeched as Phil’s arm slid from the top of the trolley handle as it moved away and banged into the side of it instead, probably in a sad attempt to catch it. Phil fell to the floor as the trolley tipped to the side, and Dan could almost hear Phoebe sigh as her cage rolled to Dan’s feet.

                “Sorry about him,” Dan mumbled, carefully turning her right round again, and she ruffled her feathers in what was probably disdain.

                “Dan!” Phil and his mum both called at once, but only Phil rushed forward, stumbling to his feet and falling into Dan’s side for an awkward hug around Phoebe’s cage. She hooted, a bit sadly, and Phil reddened and pulled away. “I’ll take her to Hagrid, the second we’re there.”

                “I think she’s okay, Phil,” Dan smiled, and reached his free arm to pull Phil back in. “Missed you,” he mumbled into his ear, and when Phil pulled away to take Phoebe and put his trolley back in place, he was even redder.

                “You’re late,” Phil’s mum teased and approached, hugging Dan quicker and gentler than Phil had.

                “I mean, it wouldn’t be right if I weren’t. Don’t want to break tradition.”

                Phil rolled his eyes behind his mum’s head and Dan grinned; Phil may hate how close Dan leaves things but it’s not like he’s ever actually missed the train.

                He turned back to the crowd to find his own mum to say goodbye, and he could feel Phil’s eyes on his back as he turned to go. It was funny that Hogwarts was still so far away but he already felt at home.

 

                Dan sat at the Gryffindor table, mindlessly picking at the hem of his robes throughout the sorting. The process was long and Dan was tired and hungry, and honestly, it was a little boring. He glanced up at Jack at Louise, sitting across from him, and right between their shoulders to where Phil sat at the Hufflepuff table, grinning at the first years joining his house.

                Dan looked back down and suppressed a smile; he didn’t need Jack and Louise to see anything. The sorting ended just before Dan was about to leave and find a sandwich, and the table was promptly filled with food, appearing out of nowhere.

                His plate filled, Yorkshire pudding shoved into his mouth, Dan felt a bit more social. He tuned into his friends’ conversation, chewing swiftly.

                “—I just don’t know who else it would be—”

                “Harry’s quite talented—”

                “He’s a fourth year—” Jack whined, slamming his fork down, “and he’s not wearing the badge, so—”

                “Wait—” Dan interrupted, and they turned to him, unsurprised, “you really didn’t get quidditch captain?”

                “See? He can’t believe it either!”

                Louise sighed. “I just don’t think it’s the biggest deal, it’s not like you were planning to go pro—”

                “Maybe I was—”

                “And there are other things to worry about!” Louise pointed her fork at Jack, quieting him. “Have you seen the papers? You must have heard about the attack at the World Cup?”

                “Of course I’ve heard,” Jack mumbled, “I just don’t know what I’d do about it!”

                “I’m not saying we should do something, I just don’t see why you’re so worried about a stupid badge of all things!” Louise shoved a bite of steak into her mouth and looked pointedly at her plate –considering her family of mostly muggles, it made sense that she was more sensitive to the riot.

                “Louise—” Dan reached out to pat her hand but she drew away. “He – he’s not back. The Death Eaters aren’t back. You’ll be okay.”

                “How do you know? How does anyone know? The Prophet says that there were bodies in the woods.”

                “Even if there were—” Jack played with his food, his voice was soft, “you’re mum’s a witch, you’ve got magic blood. Everyone’s saying that they were only after muggles. Maybe muggle-borns, but—”

                Dan’s head whipped up too fast, and Phil was still laughing, still talking to PJ and eating like everything was fine.

                Louise followed his gaze and pressed her lips together. “You see now? See why I’m scared? My mum’s a muggle-born, Phil’s a muggle born, if the Death Eaters are back—” she trailed off, didn’t need to say what they were all now thinking. Dan stared down at his plate, still half full, but his appetite had disappeared.

                “Louise,” Jack reached out to gently touch her shoulder. “Your mum may be a muggle-born, but she’s a fucking bad-ass witch. She can protect herself, and when she needs to run, she’ll know to run.”

                Louise nodded, and wiped under her eyes, though Dan hadn’t seen any tears. “And Dan,” Jack turned and smiled softly. “Phil’s here. Nowhere is safer than Hogwarts, right?”

                Dan nodded but wondered if that was really true anymore – it was only last year that Sirius Black, an Azkaban escapee managed not only to get onto the Hogwarts grounds, but escape from them as well.

                And even assuming that Phil was safe at Hogwarts, he was in his seventh year. Phil only had one more year of the castle’s protection before he’d be on his own. Dan briefly considered leaving Hogwarts when Phil did – who needed seven years, Dan could handle the world without N.E.W.T.s. But then he remembered McGonagall, and the meeting in her office, and how disappointed everyone would be—

                “Dan, they’re not back. You know the Prophet is full of shit.” Jack waved his fork around as he spoke, snapping Dan out of his thoughts. Dan just nodded again, and shoveled more potatoes into his mouth.

                They finished their food in silence; the rain was falling heavy and loud and it set Dan on edge. He kept glancing over at Phil, because Phil always seemed to calm him down but Dan couldn’t really see his face and something kept nagging at his brain, kept creeping along the edges of his mind and making him think that things weren’t that okay at all.

                Phil finally turned back, as the dinner vanished, and scanned the Gryffindor table. He grinned when he found Dan, and mimed rubbing his belly. Dan rolled his eyes but he was finally smiling, and as Phil turned to help himself to dessert, Dan found it in himself to strike up a conversation.

                “Alright, who’s suffering through herbology with me?”

                They compared their schedules over dessert – it was slightly pointless because he knew these two people better than he knew his own parents and they were in the same house and same year, so they always had their classes together anyways. But it was normal and it lightened the mood and he found that the more they talked the more he could breathe, the more his heartbeat slowed to a more healthy pace.

                After dessert was finally cleared too, Dumbledore stood up for his beginning of year speech.

                Dan wasn’t entirely listening to Filch’s warnings – he’d been around long enough to recite them from memory. He was playing with his hem again, half watching Phil, half gazing mindlessly out the windows.

                “—the inter-house Quidditch Cup will not take place this year.”

                “ _What_?” Jack gasped, and many others seemed to as well. Dan and Louise shared a bewildered look before they both turned back to watch Dumbledore, waiting for more.

                “This is due to an event that will begin in October, and continue throughout the school year—”

                “An event?” Louise whispered, head bent over the table.

                “What could replace Quidditch,” Jack grumbled.

                “—announcing that this year at Hogwarts—”

                The doors banged open, and Dumbledore fell silent. Louise and Dan looked at each other, terror in their eyes, before turned to see the stranger.

                “Oh,” Jack breathed, “it’s Mad-Eye Moody. That’s weird.”

                “Mad-Eye Moody?” Dan asked, and Louise stared at Jack, questioning.

                “I’ll explain later,” Jack mumbled as Moody passed near their table. Dan looked to Phil again – he seemed confused, but safe. Unafraid. Alright.

                Dumbledore introduced the man as _Professor_ Moody, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher.

                “But I really liked Lupin,” Dan whined, and Jack shot him a glare.

                “If what I’ve heard is true, Moody will impress you too.”

                “Impress? What does that even mean?” Dan asked.

                “And who is he?” Louise added, but Jack waved them off again.

                “ _Later_ ,” he nodded towards Dumbledore, who had begun to speak again.

                “—has not been held for over a century.”

                Dan head a couple of whispers throughout the hall, tension in the room heavy. “Could it be—” Jack began to ask, but trailed off.

                “—the Triwizard Tournament will be taking place at Hogwarts this year.” Dumbledore finished, and a Weasley twin yelled out in response.

                “What’s that?” Louise asked, but this time both Dan and Jack ignored her, looking at each other, excitement building.

                “There’s no way—” Dan breathed out, and imagined it, for just a moment. Him, standing in front of all of Hogwarts’ students and a bunch of blurry Beauxbatons and Durmstrang faces, a comically large trophy in his arms, Phil grinning proudly at his side.

                He’d heard stories of the Triwizard Tournament – most children in magical families had. There hadn’t been a successful tournament in centuries, as it was deemed too dangerous (probably rightly so). But the chance to win – Dan tuned himself back in to Dumbledore’s explanation, turned to see Louise nodding as she began to understand, and Phil’s unreadable expression as he learned about the tournament.

                Watching Phil reminded Dan of his little fantasy – bringing glory to his house, Phil next to him – he had to shake that out of his head quickly. He didn’t want to be weird, especially not with this being Phil’s last year at Hogwarts. He wanted everything to be perfect for him, everything to be smooth. Phil didn’t need any friendships ruined or – no, Dan needed to forget about that.

                But maybe he needn’t forget the whole fantasy – trophy in his arms, honoured by the school; Dan was good in Defense Against the Dark Arts, he was really good in Transfiguration. He was strong – not physically maybe, but he was very good at magic and he could win—

                “—along with the Ministry of Magic, have agreed to impose an age restriction this year. “Only students who are of age – that is to say, seventeen years or older—”

                Or not. Dan wouldn’t be seventeen until next summer, and neither would Jack. Dan watched Jack’s face fall and felt even worse for him – Jack lived Quidditch and without an outlet, he might actually go insane.

                “Hey,” Dan leaned close to the table, “we could start our own mini Quidditch league, okay? We could do three on three or something, just to keep the spirit up?”

                Jack nodded, and Louise smiled at Dan. Their friend really needed something to channel his energy towards.

                The speech ended and everyone began to stand, crowding the way to the doors. Dan slipped under the table to walk with Jack and Louise, who were waving over Phil and PJ.

                “Well, we’re out of luck,” Jack grumbled, “You guys going to go for it though?”

                Dan realized only then that Phil was seventeen – he could enter if he wanted to.

                PJ snorted. “I have N.E.W.T.s to study for. What seventh year would have time for that?”

                “True!” Louise linked arms with PJ to avoid losing him in the crowd, Dan, Phil and Jack followed closely after.

                “Anyways,” PJ continued, “it’s not a very Hufflepuff thing to do, is it? Join a dangerous competition?”

                “What do you think?” Dan asked Phil, a bit quieter than his friends.

                “I think—” Phil breathed in, and turned to Dan with a smile. “It’ll be fun to watch. I bet it’ll be one of your seventh years. Angelina will probably put her name in.”

                “Yeah, she’d do well.”

                “And I know Cedric will go for it. You should’ve seen his face when Dumbledore said it!” Phil laughed, and Dan turned to watch it. Almost tripped over PJ’s robes in the process, but managed to stay on his feet.

                “You should’ve seen Jack’s when he heard about the age restriction—” Dan avoided looked over to Jack, but felt a hard glare at the back of his head.

                Phil laughed again, glancing over Dan’s shoulder. “I can imagine.”

                Jack stepped forward to join PJ and Louise, discussing now the past Triwizard Tournaments.

                “Maybe—” Phil breathed deeply and slowed his pace slightly. “Maybe PJ is right though. Maybe its not a Hufflepuff thing so, I don’t know. Maybe the goblet won’t choose Cedric.”

                “I don’t know,” Dan shrugged, “being a Hufflepuff doesn’t mean you can’t compete.”

                “Yeah, you’re right.”

                They reached the point where Phil had to turn towards the basement to his common room and they came to a stop. Their friends were far ahead and the other students were still moving in a massive crowd around them.

                “I’ll come to your table for breakfast tomorrow, yeah?” Phil reddened just slightly – Dan wouldn’t have noticed on anyone else, but Phil was so pale that any bit of colour was a massive change.

                “That would be great,” Dan smiled his warmest smile, and someone much smaller than him bumped an elbow into his back as they passed him, forcing him to take a step closer to Phil.

                “I’ve missed you,” Phil looked down at his feet. “It’s weird in the summer, not seeing you everyday. Feels all wrong.” Phil looked up and Dan could see the redness had spread a bit. It was so ridiculous, Phil being nervous, as if Dan hadn’t felt the same way. Best friends are like that, Dan figured.

                “I missed you too,” and he reached his arms to wrap around Phil’s shoulders. He barely needed to step forward, they were already so close. Phil lifted his arms to hug Dan’s waist and let his face sink into Dan’s shoulder.

                “And after class tomorrow, homework by the lake?” Phil’s voice was muffled by Dan’s robes, but he got the idea.

                “If it’s dry enough, and if not—”

                “Meet in front of the library,” Phil finished for him – it was nice to know that their routine hadn’t changed over the summer, not that Dan had expected it to. He just liked knowing that he was back and Phil was back and everything was right in the world again.

                Dan finally pulled away, took a step back and dropped his arms. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

                Phil nodded, and lifted his arm like he was going to touch Dan’s, then dropped it. “Goodnight, Dan.”

                “Goodnight!” Dan turned and followed the stream of Gryffindors up to their tower, and purposefully didn’t look back, purposefully thought of anything other than next year’s first night, and the rest of the nights, when Phil would be gone.


	2. The Goblet of Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Dan heard Jack take a sudden breath in and turned abruptly to watch the last piece of parchment fly from the goblet. ___

                Phil was already sitting by the lake when Dan finally got there after Potions, his books spread around him in a semi circle.

                “So,” Dan said, and Phil looked up, “is this going to be one of those days where we actually do homework?”

                Phil grinned as Dan started to sit. “N.E.W.T.s are already kicking my butt, I’ve got to get as far ahead as I can."

                “Don’t tell me you’re studying for exams,” Dan groaned.

                “Not studying, but I have a massive Herbology essay due before the Holidays, it’s going to take a lot of time,” Phil gestured to the books spread around him.

                “It’s October, you have time,” Dan started closing books haphazardly. Phil yelped, throwing his hands on top of Dan’s to stop him.

                “I don’t want to lose my place!” He cried, but he was giggling. He started shoving long pieces of parchment into his open books, then closing them and stacking them.

                Dan watched him organize himself – the wind was gentle, but it was jostling Phil’s hair, blowing it out of his usual fringe. Phil kept trying to sweep it to the side, but it just moved out of place again and again. He was wearing his glasses and they were slid halfway down his nose, but he didn’t seem to notice. It left his eyes uncovered over the top of the glasses, and Dan couldn’t stop staring. His eyes were a little watery in the wind, which made the light actually fucking radiate from the blue. Phil was like a goddamn painting. 

                “So,” Phil finished stacking his books, and finally pushed his glasses back into place. “Did you hear? Beauxbatons and Durmstrang get here in a week.”

                “I do, in fact, attend this school, and seeing as the entire population of Hogwarts seems to be talking about it—”

                “Thanks, sassy,” Phil laughed and stuck his tongue between his teeth, wetting his lip.

                “You asked,” Dan smirked.

                “Fine, fine. Are you excited for Beauxbatons and Durmstrang to get here in a week?”

                Dan shrugged. “It’ll be fun to watch. Better than Quidditch, at least.”

                “Hey!” Phil pouted, “I like Quidditch! Jack plays Quidditch!”

                “Yes, and while I love watching Jack attempt to avoid bludgers, there are other things I would rather be doing.”

                “Like what?” Phil asked, and Dan was sure he didn’t imagine the suggestive intonation.

                He stared at Phil blankly for a moment, then laughed it off. “Like homework. I would literally rather study than watch Quidditch.”

                Phil shook his head. “How are you even a wizard?”

                “You know,” Dan leaned his head back, grinning, “Quidditch is pretty boring when you really think about it.”

                “And how’s that?”

                “Well, think about it this way, there are fourteen people flying around in the sky, chasing around five different balls. We could throw fourteen cats in a ring and we’d have almost the same thing.”

                “But cats can’t fly,” Phil pointed out, eyes shining with a laugh.

                “I could transfigure a cat to fly,” Dan leaned forward, turning his head to the side and resting it on his hand. “Or charm them.”

                “Alright,” Phil sat forward too, bringing himself closer to Dan. “I nominate Suki for seeker.”

                “Suki would be a shit seeker, if anything she could be keeper.”

                “She’d be a worse keeper than seeker, she’d have to interact with other cats.”

                “Hmm,” Dan hummed, looked to the sky. The sun was getting lower, and he did have some homework to do. He pulled out a book, started flipping through to the page he needed. “I’ll ask her later, if you help me figure out the Living Death potion.”

                “I’m not as good at potions as you, you’ve got to stop asking me for help,” Phil complained, but leaned over to look over the instructions anyways.

                “You say that, but in all this time you’ve been helping me, I’ve never had trouble.”

                Phil rolled his eyes. “That’s because you’re good at potions, dork.”

                Dan shook his head fondly, and watched Phil read the page more carefully, mouthing the words as he did. Dan wasn’t even sure he needed help with this, but he didn’t want to not be talking to Phil, and if he had to do the work, he might as well make the best of it.

                As it turned out, Dan understood it pretty quickly, but Phil still helped him work through the more intricate bits. They worked until Phil’s stomach began to grumble and he started packing up.

                They walked back to the castle together slowly, despite Phil’s hunger. Phil was quiet, he had something on his mind and Dan was biding his time to ask what was up – figured Phil would get it out before they reached the castle.

                “So the champions will be picked soon, then, with Beauxbatons and Durmstrang coming,” Phil watched Dan as he said it, looking for something that Dan couldn’t place.

                “It’ll be interesting,” Dan said, but it sounded like a question.

                Phil nodded. “Who are you hoping for?”

                “I’m kind of obliged to say a Gryffindor, right?” Dan teased, and Phil laughed. “I guess Angelina would be good, don’t you think?

                “Yeah, she’s a great Quidditch player.”

                “And I know the Weasley twins are going to try to enter, so if they manage to get past the age restriction, it would be pretty great to watch,” Dan added, and Phil simply nodded. “What about you?

                “Am I obliged to pick a Hufflepuff?” Phil said with a grin, quoting Dan. “Really though, I doubt it’ll be one of us. Maybe Cedric, right?”

                Dan nodded. “Cedric would do really well, actually. He’s nice, but really talented.”

                “That’s true!” Phil seemed to brighten up a bit, but Dan dismissed it. He couldn’t micromanage Phil’s emotions, he couldn’t know every thought that passed through his head. “And Tom in Ravenclaw, I heard he’s going to give it a go.”

                “No surprise there,” Dan snorted. “He’d put anything they set against him right into the Hospital Wing.” Not that Tom was aggressive, but he was known to be one of the best duelers at Hogwarts.

                Phil laughed. “I’d like to see that. Wouldn’t be a tough competition.”

                They reached the castle doors and fell into a comfortable silence, walking side by side to the Great Hall. Dan smiled as they reached the Hufflepuff table.

                “By the lake again tomorrow?”

                “I think it’s supposed to be getting colder,” Phil smiled back, even wider. “Library?”

                “Library,” Dan agreed, and Phil found a spot next to PJ, so Dan wandered over to the Gryffindor table, wedging himself between Lee and Louise.

                He thought – for the first time, really – since the Start-of-Term feast, about the Triwizard Tournament. He imagined, briefly, sitting next to Phil as he watched Angelina Johnson fight some out of focus beast, cheering for his school with his best friend, and he began to feel, maybe, a bit excited.

                The Great Hall was decorated for the holiday, and Dan was watching the bats circle one of Hagrid’s massive pumpkins as he finished eating. The room was buzzing – everyone seemed to have finished their food much quicker than they normally would have, and there were many sets of eyes on Dumbledore, waiting for him to finish eating.

                The goblet itself was sat in front of Dumbledore, and Dan started to join into the anticipation – all anyone was talking about was the goblet, all anyone could do was ponder the goblet’s selections. Who would be their champion?

                Dan glanced at Angelina, a few seats down. She was sipping pumpkin juice as her friends chattered excitedly. She seemed nervous, but somehow still confident. Strong. She would be a great champion.

                He looked over to the Hufflepuff table – Phil was sitting next to PJ, Cedric across from them. They were talking, laughing, seemed excited. Dan wished he could watch Phil’s eyes light up as he giggled, wished he was sat next to him.

                “Well—” Dumbledore was standing, now, and the goblet seemed to glow. Jack turned back to Dan, grinning, and even Louise seemed to be leaning forward, engaged, across from them. “ –when the names are called, I would ask the champions to come to the top of the hall and go through into the next chamber—”

                “It’s got to be a Gryffindor,” Jack whispered from next to him, “Bringing glory to the school? Dangerous challenges? It’s got to be—”

                 Dumbledore extinguished the candles lighting the hall, leaving only those inside the pumpkins to burn. The goblet was shining bright, lighting the hall more than anything else in the room.

                Silence fell, and Dan watched Dumbledore for a moment. He was silent, still, calm. As if it were any other Halloween feast.             

                Phil and PJ were turned towards the front of the room too, and Dan could almost see the glow in Phil’s eyes from across the tables. Phil turned slightly and met Dan’s stare, and smiled brightly.

                “The champion for Durmstrang will be Viktor Krum,” Dumbledore read, and Dan whipped his head back to the front of the hall.

                “He’s a pro Quidditch plater,” Dan whispered, and Jack rolled his eyes.

                “So?”

                “Doesn’t that give him some sort of advantage? With experience competing or something?” Dan leaned close to Jack’s shoulder, but he just shrugged. The flames in the goblet were building, and suddenly a small piece of parchment flew from the fire.

                “The champion for Beauxbatons is Fleur Delacour,”

                A tall blond girl stood from the Ravenclaw table and made her way to the front.

                Louise practically moaned. “She’s so gorgeous, do you know what I’d give for hair like that?”

                “She’s – something else,” Jack agreed, watching her walk towards the side chamber.

                The hall grew tense – it was just the Hogwarts champion left. Angelina was leaning forward in her seat, Cedric Diggory has his fists clenched on the table in front of him. Phil was watching Dumbledore with an unreadable expression – he wasn’t smiling anymore, his eyes were hard. His shoulders were relaxed but there was something in the way he was sitting – he wasn’t tense, he wasn’t nervous. He almost seemed determined.

                Dan heard Jack take a sudden breath in and turned abruptly to watch the last piece of parchment fly from the goblet.

                “The Hogwarts champion,” the hall stilled, the room was collectively holding their breath, “is Phil Lester.”

                The Hufflepuff table exploded in cheers, the jumped to their feet, screaming and stomping. Cedric smiled and reached over to pat Phil on the shoulder, PJ squeezed his arm. Phil was grinning, shining as he made his way to the front of the hall. He turned to look at Dan as he passed – Dan, frozen in his seat, mouth hanging open, dread growing like a pit in his stomach.

                Phil’s smile changed, just for a second, to apologetic, then he was turned again, proud, tall, every bit the champion that Hogwarts wanted.

                Dan stood and ran from the hall, clutching his stomach.

 

                “Dan!”

                Louise was still shouting at him, banging on the door of the bathroom.

                He’d barely made it before his dinner had ended up in the toilet, and he was sitting in the stall, leaning against the door breathing heavily.

                “Daniel Howell, I _will_ come in there if you don’t answer me!”

                He sighed. “I’m fine,” it sounded weak even to him.

                “I’m coming in!” she shouted, and the door banged open.

                “This is the men’s room, Louise,” he said, rather meekly, and reached up to unlock his stall door.

                “Do you think I give a fuck?” she pushed the door open before he had a chance to stand, and it bumped his shoulder.

                “Ow,” he mumbled. She ignored him and pulled him into a hug.

                “You’ll be okay,” she rubbed his shoulder gently.

                “I know _I’ll_ be okay, I’m not the one in a death tournament.”

                She sighed. “Phil’s of age. He’s smart, and he’s a very good wizard.”

                “He’s – he’s a muggle-born. Slytherins don’t need another reason to have it out for him. He’s going to have it so much harder than the others—” Louise started chuckling, and he pulled away from her. “Do you think I’m joking?”

                “No, of course not, it’s just – you missed the most interesting part.”

                “The Hogwarts champion is Phil, what else could have happened?”

                “Take a wild guess – who would the craziest, most impossible thing happen to?”

                Dan pressed his lips together. “Potter? But he—”

                “No one knows how he did it, but he was chosen too. Phil won’t be the underdog, here.”

                Dan nodded and allowed Louise to guide him out of the bathroom, but it didn’t make him feel any better. Anything that involved Harry Potter was guaranteed to be ten times as dangerous as before.

                He did have a small sliver of hope though – there was only supposed to be one champion per school, so they might, _might_ , just let Harry compete, Phil might not have to be a champion—

                But Dan knew, somehow, that they wouldn’t kick Phil out. Phil was going to be facing Viktor Krum, star seeker. Fleur Delacour, who must be more of a threat than she looked, if the goblet picked her. And with Harry Potter’s luck, Dan couldn’t even imagine what Phil might be dealing with there.

                They walked back to the Great Hall in silence – it had emptied by the time they arrived. Jack was hovering by the doors, and PJ and Cedric were sitting up against the wall. They stood when Dan and Louise arrived.

                They were silent for a moment, awkwardly so. Dan cleared his throat, tight from being sick. “So, is it true? Potter was picked?”

                PJ nodded. “Don’t know how he passed the age line, but—” he trailed off and shrugged.

                “Are they—” Dan’s voice caught in his throat; he cleared it again. “Are they all going to compete? All four?”               

                His friends exchanged glances around him. “We don’t—” PJ sighed, “Well, we don’t know yet. The professors all seemed to a bit flustered, they all rushed out after Harry.”

                “Phil will be in it either way, though. He was first, they can’t take that away from him,” Cedric didn’t seem bitter, seemed happy. Like he was proud it was Phil or something.

                Dan began to feel sick again, so he slid to the floor, right in the middle of the entrance hall. He dropped his head into his hands and tried very had not to think of his nausea or Phil or the tournament or Phil being gone.

                He shook his head into his hands, which made him even more nauseous. He didn’t know how much time was passing – he felt as though his thoughts were flying through him, giving him chills like the Hogwarts ghosts.

                “Dan,” he felt Louise’s gentle hand on his shoulder, he looked up. “Do you want to go to the common room?”

                “No, no, I need to wait for Phil.”

                “We don’t know when he’ll be back, maybe you should go lie down.”

                Dan just shook his head and she sighed. “Well, I think I’m going to head to bed. Are you okay to wait on your own?”

                Dan looked around – PJ and Cedric were gone, and Jack was hovering near the marble staircase, clearly uncomfortably.

                “I’m fine, but I’m staying,” he stood slowly, using Louise’s shoulder to stabilize himself. She slipped her arm under his to pull him in to a hug.

                “Go easy on him,” she patted his back as she pulled away, and with that Jack and Louise were gone, headed up to the Gryffindor common room.

                Dan paced in front of the doors to the Great Hall – now that he was standing he couldn’t seem to stay still.

                Everything felt so wrong – the Death Eaters were supposed to be gone, the wizarding world was supposed to be free of you-know-who’s radicalism, muggle-borns were supposed to be safe.

                And Hogwarts was supposed to be the safest place in the world, but in the past few years there seemed to be more and more danger, lurking in the forest, in hidden chambers, in the castle itself—

                And now they were bringing back the Triwizard Tournament – all well and good when it was just a fantasy, but there was a reason they stopped holding it. People died – students died. The tournament was meant to be hard, meant to challenge the competitors in every area of magic. It wasn’t meant to be safe.

                He heard footsteps coming from the Great Hall and stopped pacing to lean on the railing of the staircase.

                “—I don’t know much about it any of it to be honest,” Phil’s voice carried in the empty hall, reaching him out the doors. “My family is all muggles, you see, so I only found out last month.”

                “Me too,” said Harry Potter. He couldn’t seem to think of anything to say, and as usual, Phil tried to remedy the awkwardness by over-talking.

                “I never thought I’d get picked, there are so many great witches and wizards in the seventh year! Did you think you’d get picked?”

                “No, I didn’t put my name in the cup, I was telling the truth,” Harry said, and Dan raised his eyebrows.

                “Strange! I wonder how you got picked, then. Do you think Moody was right? Someone wants you dead?”

                Harry mumbled something like “wouldn’t be the first time,” as they reached the end of the Great Hall. Phil noticed Dan and smiled wearily.

                “I was, uh—” Dan felt awkward under Phil’s stare, and having Harry there didn’t help. “I was going to walk you back to your common room?”

                “Sure,” Phil turned towards the door to the basement, “See you around, Harry!”

                “Yeah, see you.”

                Dan followed Phil through the door and down the stairs, then stopped, grabbing Phil’s elbow.

                “You said you weren’t going to put your name in!”

                Phil turned out of Dan’s hold, leaned back against the wall. “I never said that I wasn’t going to—”

                “You did!” Dan pointed an accusing finger at him, then immediately felt stupid and dropped it. “You said it wasn’t—”

                “I said that PJ said it wasn’t a very Hufflepuff thing to do,” Phil interrupted, and Dan balked.

                “You – you—” he trailed off, didn’t want to say it. Didn’t want to feel tricked by Phil, like Phil had been hiding things from him.

                “I just – I knew you wouldn’t like it, and I didn’t think I’d get picked anyways, so—” Phil trailed of and shrugged. Dan fought to catch his breath.

                “Phil, it’s not just some game! This tournament – people have died!”

                “I know that,” Phil said, but he was looking down.

                “It’s dangerous, Phil, and you’re—” Dan stopped short, and Phil looked up with a glare.

                “I’m what?” he demanded, challenged. “A mudblood? Is that what you were going to say?”

                “Fuck, no, Phil, you know I’d never,” Dan sighed, ran his hand through his hair. “I was going to – I was going to say you’re alone.”

                “Yeah, that’s kind of the point.”

                “I can’t – no one can help you, no one can protect you. And there are – there are rumors.”

                Phil’s expression softened. “Rumors?”

                “Rumors about Durmstrang. They say – well, they say that they learn dark magic, there,” Dan pressed his lips together.

                “Is this about those Death Eaters again?” Phil asked, and smiled gently. “I can protect myself, Dan. And everyone says that it’s not true anyways.”

                “But what if it is? What if you’re putting yourself in the worst place you can be?” Dan stepped forward, his anxiety increasing as Phil calmed. “You can’t do it, Phil. Please, for me, you have to back out.”

                “Dan—” Phil began, and Dan could already hear that he was going to lose. Phil had no intentions of backing out.

                “No, Phil, you don’t understand!” He noticed, belatedly, that his eyes were filling with tears. It was too late to play it cool, though. “You can’t do it. You’ll get hurt, or you’ll die, and I – you can’t do that to me!” He sniffed and wiped furiously at the wetness on his cheeks.

                Phil stepped forward, arms out, but Dan stepped back before he could reach him.

                “Dan, I don’t think you understand—”

                “No, _you_ don’t understand!” Dan gave up on wiping his tears, he was frantic. “You haven’t heard the stories like I have, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into!”

                “I’m not allowed to back out,” Phil said in one quick breath. Dan fell silent, frozen, and watched Phil’s mouth move. “None of us are. They said that the goblet’s decision is final. And—”

                “And what?” Dan’s voice was so soft, he wasn’t sure Phil would be able to hear him. He couldn’t seem to find his lungs.

                “And I want to do it. I know the risks, I looked it up, I talked to Professor Sprout.”

                Dan shook his head, took a step further back.

                “Dan,” Phil’s eyes pleaded now, begged Dan to understand, to not fall apart. “I’m – I’m really good. I can win this.”

                Dan shook his head again. “You’re thinking about winning—” he breathed, “all I can think about is you dead on the ground.”

                “Dan—”

                “No, I’m going – I’m going to bed,” Dan turned abruptly and bolted up the stairs.

                “Wait, Dan!” Phil called after him, but Dan didn’t turn. He couldn’t look at his friend – his best friend right now. He needed to get away, needed to see sane people, people who didn’t want to put themselves into unnecessary danger. People that weren’t the one person he couldn’t stand to lose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come visit me on tumblr at howelnlester!


	3. The First Task

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Lessons ended midday for the first task, and Dan’s limbs felt heavy as he made his way to the edge of the Forbidden Forest, following Louise and Jack as they filed up into stands surrounding some sort of enclosure – there was a tent on one side, and what seemed to be a nest on the other. ___

                Surprisingly, Dan was actually incredibly thankful that Harry Potter was competing in the Triwizard Tournament alongside Phil. Harry – fourth year, still about a head shorter than Dan, had managed to already in his lifetime defeat you-know-who, and was a noble little shit. It was easy to support him.

                Though, he was one of the few. The school seemed to be rallying for Phil – the Hufflepuffs were supporting him because he was in their house, that was a given. The Slytherins were for Phil just because they didn’t want to support Harry, and the Ravenclaws seemed to think that he had managed to get his name into the goblet.

                Dan himself wasn’t entirely sure that he hadn’t – not all his housemates were. But he was one of theirs, and he had friends, and Dan really didn’t care how he’d ended up in the tournament. Better him than Phil.    

                He was spending more and more time in the common room – avoiding the library and the grounds and anywhere he might see one of those fucking “support Phil Lester” badges or Phil himself.

                He was folded up in a chair by the window, pretending to try to do homework. Suki was curled up in his lap and he absently scratched her behind the ears. The cat had never gotten so much attention in her life – she seemed to be softer than ever – maybe because he never really stopped petting her anymore. He reached his index around to scratch under her chin and she began to purr – he was so goddamn thankful for this teeny cat, and he vowed to get her a bag of the good catnip next time he was in Hogsmeade.

                Louise was curled into the arm of the chair next to him, asleep. He had no idea what she’d been doing, but lately she seemed to be out much later than usual, coming back to the Gryffindor tower after Dan had already gone to bed.

                He lifted his foot carefully – he didn’t want to disturb Suki – and nudged her calf with his toe. She grumbled as she began to wake up, swatting at his foot and missing.

                “You’ll miss dinner if you don’t wake up soon,” Dan let his foot drop, and settled back into his spot.

                “What time is it?” She asked, straightening bit by bit.

                Dan checked his watch, Suki peered up at him when he stopped scratching her. “Almost 4.”

                “I have like, an hour,” Louise groaned, but made no move to go back to sleep. “What are you doing, anyways?”

                “Defense Against the Dark Arts, I have an essay coming up – it’s really interesting stuff, actually, the Unforgivable Curses. Did you know that the curse can only work if the wizard has great willpower? Like if someone cast the Cruciatus Curse, but didn’t want to cause pain, the victim wouldn’t feel a thing!”

                Louise hummed – he got the feeling that she hadn’t really been listening. “Right, and what are you actually doing?”

                Dan shrugged, no point in arguing. He hadn’t been doing much of anything, really. Watching the grounds, and the people passing, perhaps. He was aggressively _not_ thinking about Phil or the Triwizard Tournament’s first task. He was giving his cat some much deserved attention.

                “I’m keeping Suki company. Sorry that your owl doesn’t want to cuddle—”

                “Normal magic cats don’t want to cuddle either,” in spite of herself, Louise reached out with grabby hands, and Dan reluctantly passed Suki over.

                “She was keeping me calm,” he whined. Louise lifted Suki to hold her against her chest and pet down her back. She purred, and Louise ignored him.

                “You should get out more, that would help with the anxiety,” she kept her eyes on Suki as she said it, but she did lower her voice a bit.

                “The anxiety is the reason I’m staying _in_ here.”

                “Well, you never used to spend all your time holed up in the common room, and the anxiety wasn’t as bad.”

                “Well, this year is different, isn’t it?”

                Louise finally looked up, and sighed. “Look, we’ve all been a bit on edge since the thing at the World Cup. And I know that you’re worried about Phil, and that’s valid, but he’s an adult. He can handle it. Otherwise they wouldn’t make it a challenge.”

                “What if he can’t?” Dan asked weakly.

                “Then Dumbledore will step in, or McGonagall or Hagrid – he has a whole fleet of excellent wizards and witches waiting in the wings to keep him safe.”

                She was right – that was the worst part. As the weeks had gone on, Dan had to accept that theoretically, the challenges couldn’t possibly be too much for Phil. But he couldn’t shake the dread, the fear that clung to his every thought, reminding him of all he had to lose.

                Louise shifted and started to stand, passing Suki back over to him. “You’re leaving?”

                “I was going to meet some friends before Muggle Studies,” Louise gathered her things, trailing off. “I think you should get out, Dan. I think that you’ll feel better if you see Phil and talk to him.”

                Dan shrugged, she hovered in front of him, ready to go. “I’ll be fine,” he mumbled.

                “I know, I just – this has been really bothering you, and I don’t fully understand why but I want you to know that you can always talk to me, I’ll always be here for you.”

                “Thank you,” Dan nodded, and she nodded, and then she was gone.

                Dan went back to people watching, his mind not quite blank, but foggy. He hadn’t slept well, nightmares keeping him tossing and turning all night. He couldn’t figure out what it meant, dreaming of chasing Phil through the forbidden forest, or holding him by the hand as he dangled off a bridge. If only there was something he could actually _do_ , it might be different. But the rules of the Triwizard Tournament dictated that the champions could have no help.

                The sun moved in the sky, and Dan knew he was missing his classes but he couldn’t find it in himself to be bothered. He could tell it was growing closer to dinner as his stomach began to make noise, but he only turned when he heard the door open and Jack entered – he slumped lower in his chair and lifted his book, but it was too late.

                “Dan!”

                Dan ignored him, but he was spotted, and there wasn’t much he could do but look up.   

                “What?” 

                “No need to be so hostile,” Jack was clutching a newspaper and seemed out of breath. “You’ll want to see this.”

                “Nah,” Dan lifted his book again. “I’m busy.”

                “Please, Dan,” Jack shoved the Prophet between Dan’s face and his book, pointing at a Rita Skeeter article.

                Dan scanned it quickly – mostly nonsense about Harry Potter. “And?”

                “Well, Phil’s not in it, thought you’d—”

                Dan waved him off, actually reading through the article now. Sure enough, Fleur and Viktor were mentioned, but Phil was completely absent.

                “Do you think he’s alright?” Dan asked Jack, who had taken the seat nearest him.

                Jack shrugged. “I haven’t seen him – heard he was in the library, though.”

                “I’m not going to talk to him,” Dan glared harshly, but Jack didn’t react.

                “You asked if he was alright, just giving you the facts,” Jack reached for the paper, scanning it over again himself.

                Dan watched his eyes flit back and forth on the page for a moment, before he sighed. “I’ll be back soon,” he grumbled, and stood to make his way out the door.

                He walked to the library slowly, dragging his feet. He didn’t really know what to say to Phil – he hadn’t seen him since Halloween. He hadn’t wanted to think about him – so of course that was pretty much all he had done. He’d worried over Phil’s safety, he’d obsessed over every word he had said on Halloween and enacted any other way he could possibly handled it in his head. Now, though, he could not think of a single thing to say.

                He entered the library without bothering to pause – nothing was going to come to him. He went to their usual table in the corner, and found him biting his lip copying runes from a book.

                Dan sighed and took the seat across from him, and only then did Phil notice him.

                “Dan!” Phil’s eyes lit up, hope and optimism and everything Phil radiating from him like the actual fucking sun.

                “Hey,” he mumbled, smiling despite himself.

                “I’ve missed you so much! I’m so sorry I entered without talking to you, I should have thought it through, I had no right to—”

                “Shut up, unless you want Madam Pince to kick us out,” the bitterness seeped back into his tone upon being reminded of why he was mad at Phil in the first place. Phil had the decency to look regretful.

                “I’m sorry—” he whispered this time, and Dan sighed.

                “I’m only here because I wanted to see if you were okay.”

                “I’m okay, of course I’m okay, Dan, the tournament hasn’t even really started yet!”

                “About that article, Phil. In the Prophet,” Dan fought to keep his voice steady, unsure of whether it would be angry or weepy.

                “Oh, about Potter? The poor kid, he didn’t deserve that,” Phil frowned.

                “You weren’t in it,” Dan blurted, at a loss. He didn’t know what to say to Phil anymore – it felt like he was a stranger.

                “Isn’t that a good thing?” Phil smiled tentatively.

                Dan rolled his eyes. “The goal is to win glory and fame from this fucking thing, isn’t this article already a loss?”

                Phil shrugged. “I don’t want fame if it’s like that. Those awful things she said? The lies? Why would I want that?”

                “I don’t fucking—” Dan clenched his jaw, he was starting to get louder. He took a deep breath, while Phil smiled patiently. He took another.

                “I don’t understand you, Phil.”

                This time when Dan walked away, Phil didn’t call after him.

 

                Lessons ended midday for the first task, and Dan’s limbs felt heavy as he made his way to the edge of the Forbidden Forest, following Louise and Jack as they filed up into stands surrounding some sort of enclosure – there was a tent on one side, and what seemed to be a nest on the other.

                There was a strange noise coming from the far side, where the nest was. Clanking, swishing. And then, suddenly, a booming roar.

                Louise turned back and met Dan’s worried gaze, pressed her lips together.

                “They wouldn’t – it _can’t_ be allowed—” she trailed off as another roar broke the silence. The crowd around them grew vibrant, excited chatter coming from Dan’s every side.

                They found a spot and Dan sunk to the bench, shaking. “No one will blame you if you can’t watch,” Jack said, leaning forward to look past Louise.

                “He’s right,” Louise added, “It might be best if you don’t see.”

                He shook his head. “I have to be here. I have to see. It would only be worse if I didn’t know.”

                Jack and Louise exchanged a look that Dan didn’t bother to read into. He didn’t care – he didn’t care about his friends’ worry or his anxiety or the students surrounding him. He just needed to see this be over.

                Ludo Bagman’s booming voice appeared out of nowhere, echoing around. “Welcome to the Triwizard Tournament’s first task!”

                The crowd cheered, Dan wanted to cover his ears. Coming from the forest was a massive blue dragon. It circled the nest and huffed breaths – it seemed to be sneering at the noise.

                “Oh god,” Dan whimpered. Louise grabbed his hand and squeezed.

                “The champions,” Bagman continued, “must collect the golden egg!”

                The crowd roared and everyone started jumping to their feet – Dan followed quickly and caught a glimpse of the shining egg, hidden amongst the others.

                “Our first champion will be facing the Swedish Short-Snout. Phil Lester—”

                Dan couldn’t hear the end of Bagman’s sentence. The cheers were explosive, his ears were pulsing. Heads began to turn as Phil walked into the enclosure, wand at his side.

                He was wearing some sort of uniform – it was similar to the Hufflepuff quidditch robes, and it would offer him no protection from a dragon.

                Phil had his head high as he approached – he didn’t seem surprised, or even really all that nervous. He raised his wand and turned to the side, pointed at a rock.

                “What is he _doing_?” Jack asked, but even as he did, Dan recognized the shape emerging from the rock.

                A dog. Phil was transfiguring the rock into a dog.

                Well, dog maybe, but not a normal dog. It had upturned ears and a light coat – tan around the top and white under its belly. Dan belatedly recognised that it was a corgi – it was hard to recognise the breed with the size of it.

                Because from what little Dan knew of corgis, they were short and stout. This dog was anything but short – it was massive. It’s head reached Phil’s shoulder, it’s legs were long and muscular. It scraped a paw on the ground and Phil spoke into its ear. The dog braced to run as Phil withdrew slowly, and then it charged for the dragon.

                Dan was sure that it would be toast immediately, but the dragon inhaled and opened it’s mouth to draw fire, and the dog changed directions at the last moment.

                Phil, meanwhile, was transfiguring a second, identical dog. The first darted out of the dragon’s line of fire and the second charged as well.

                “They’re dogs, they aren’t going to hurt the thing—” Jack mumbled, but they didn’t need to. Between the two of them, they were drawing the dragon, painfully slowly, away from the eggs. Phil, small and quiet, in comparison, was shuffling along the edge of the enclosure.

                It was dragging on far too long – the dragon was reluctant to leave the eggs, and the dogs could only do so much. The crowd wouldn’t stop screaming – Dan was no longer able to hear anything over the white noise.

                Phil was finally getting past the dragon – barely, but he was. He shuffled when he was about level with its front legs, and it roared, flicked its tail towards him. Phil dove out of sight – Dan held his breath.

                One of the dogs got close and barked, the dragon returned it’s attention to them.

                Phil’s head appeared from behind a rock, and the entire school (perhaps even the other two) let out a breath.

                “narrow miss, there, very narrow—” Bagman said, voice still booming. Dan wondered if he’d been commentating this whole time – he couldn’t seem to hear anything properly.

                Phil was moving a bit more carefully, but quicker, now. The dragon was paces away from the nest – Phil was closer than it was.

                One of his dogs yelped and crumbled – burned back to rock.

                Phil looked quickly between the dragon and the egg. “No, Phil—” Dan whispered, but Phil bolted. He reached the eggs and the dragon turned, fire exploding from it’s mouth. But there were dragon keepers rushing forward, subduing the dragon.

                Dan craned his neck, and there was Phil, smoke rising from his robes, but standing, holding the golden egg in the air.

                The crowd went wild, stomping, screaming – Phil Lester had faced a dragon and lived.

                Dan started moving, sliding past the other students, keeping his eyes on the enclosure. Professor Sprout and Madam Pomfrey were rushing forward as Phil was walking back to the entrance to the enclosure – he was grinning but seemed to be limping, slightly.

                He reached the stairs as Professor Sprout and Madam Pomfrey reached Phil – Professor Sprout took the egg and Phil grabbed his shoulder, but then he was being ushered away—

                Dan raced down the steps and around the back of the stands, coming to the tent near the entrance. They weren’t bringing Phil to it, though – they were helping him onto a stretcher. Professor Sprout carried one side and PJ grabbed the other  – he seemed to have been waiting outside for Phil – and lifted him, starting for the castle with Madam Pomfrey following beside them.

                Dan ran to catch them, panting. “Is he okay? PJ!”

                The slowed and he caught up, breathing hard.

                “I’m fine, I’m great! Look!” Phil gestured to the egg, resting on his belly. “I did it!’

                Up close, he didn’t look all that fine. There were harsh burns down his left arm, creeping up onto the side of his face.

                If he wasn’t injured, Dan would have punched him.

                “He’ll be just fine, Mr Howell.” Madam Pomfrey assured him – she was pouring little bits of some kind of potion on his arm as they walked. “Dragons,” she scoffed, “as if you lot don’t end up in my Hospital Wing enough, they bring _dragons_.”

                Phil ignored her and grinned at Dan. “Did you see it? Were you there?”

                “Yes, of course I was there, how could I miss it?” His voice was gentler than he expected – fond. It seemed that now that he knew that Phil was okay, he couldn’t find anything to be angry about.

                Phil’s grin softened into a gentle smile. He reached his good arm out, waving it around for a moment before Dan caught on and took it, locking their fingers.

                “Thank you, it means a lot to me,” Phil squeezed, and Dan felt a lump in his throat.

                “I – the whole school came to see you, too,” Dan reminded him. Phil’s eyes fell closed, contented.

                “You’re different, though. Wouldn’t matter if you didn’t come. None of it would.”

                Dan looked up to PJ, who was looking back and forth between Dan and Phil strangely – he almost seemed nervous.

                “Madam Pomfrey gave him some pain meds back there, he must be getting loopy,” PJ looked to Madam Pomfrey for support, but she was busying herself with Phil’s burns.

                “I’m not loopy. It’s true,” Phil tried to wave his hand somewhere, but it was still locked with Dan’s, so he just ended up kind of punching Dan in the side. “The entire wizarding world could watch me win and it would mean nothing if you weren’t there.”

                “Well, it’s a good thing I will be there, then,” Dan said, somewhat uncomfortably, and squeezed Phil’s hand.

                They were arriving at the castle, and Dan had to look at the ground to climb the steps. When he turned back, Phil’s eyes were open, staring at him intently.

                “Do you mean that?”

                “Of course I do, Phil,” Dan smiled.

                “So you’re not mad at me anymore?” Phil seemed so small all of a sudden, laid on the stretcher, looking up at him.

                “I was never mad—”

                “Yes you were—” Phil interrupted.

                “I was just worried, I guess.” Dan let go of Phil’s hand then (and pretended not to hear the little whimper), and stepped in front of Professor Sprout to open the door.

                “Thank you, Daniel,” Professor Sprout said, pausing. “You should go back to watch the rest of the champions. You’re in Gryffindor, yes?” She asked, and he nodded. “Potter should be going last, you could catch it.”

                Dan shook his head. “I’ll stay with Phil.”

                “He’ll be asleep soon, anyways,” Madam Pomfrey said from across the stretcher.

                “It’s okay, Dan,” Phil mumbled, and Dan turned to meet his eyes. “I don’t mind if you want to watch – I wish I could have stayed to watch—”

                Dan didn’t bother to remind him that the champions weren’t supposed to see each other compete, and he didn’t know what compelled him to suddenly made great declarations, but—

                 “Like you said – none of it matters if you aren’t there.”

                Phil closed his eyes at that, smiling, and Professor Sprout and PJ continued to walk him through the door. Dan let Madam Pomfrey rush in after them, and then he followed, keeping back so as not to disturb them all the way up to the Hospital Wing.

 

                Dan felt a nudge to his shoulder – he groaned and turned his head away. He felt another nudge and realized that he wasn’t in his bed, he was leaned over onto a soft surface, half falling out of a chair.

                He lifted his head and saw Phil’s face, far too close, and jumped up in surprise.

                “You’re still here,” Phil pointed out – Dan looked outside. It had gotten dark, sometime.

                “Yeah, I didn’t want you to wake up alone,” Dan sat back in the chair, but didn’t lean his arms and head on the edge of Phil’s bed like before.

                “I thought Madam Pomfrey would have kicked you out by now,” Phil seemed much more himself than before – the pain medication must have worn off. His burns looked much better already, still red but healing fast.

                “She would have,” Dan smiled, “but I think she was scared I was in shock or something. Offered me a bed and everything.”

                Phil laughed. “Yeah, you were a mess.” He looked Dan up and down. “Still are, you need a shower.”

                “Hey, you look worse than I do,” Dan complained.

                Phil just grinned. “Maybe, but did _you_ fight a dragon and win?”

                “Touché.”

                Phil’s arm was outstretched on the bed, palm up. Dan wondered if he was supposed to hold it or something, now that Phil was okay. He figured it wouldn’t do much harm now and reached out to lace their fingers together.

                “So,” Phil didn’t react to Dan’s touch – he wondered if he’d misread the situation. “You still against me doing the tournament?”

                “It doesn’t matter much now, does it?” Dan answered, lowered his gaze. “It was awful, watching you in there like that. Knowing you could die any second—”

                “But I didn’t die—”

                “But it would be so much worse not seeing it, so—” Dan shrugged. “I figure I’ll go slightly less insane if I help you prepare. That way at least I know I did what I could, right?”

                “Dan – the champions aren’t supposed to have help—”

                “Who fucking cares,” Dan whined. “If you think that Hermione Granger isn’t helping Potter, you’re insane. And as if Karkaroff is keeping out of Krum’s business—”

                “Okay, okay, I get it,” Phil interrupted. “I just feel bad – it’s still cheating, even if everyone is doing it.”

                “That reminds me—” Dan said, the thought only occurring to him in the moment, “did you know they were dragons, before? It’s just that – well you didn’t seem that surprised.”

                Phil rolled his eyes. “They told us in the tent, they wouldn’t send us in completely blind.”

                Dan nodded and pressed him lips together – Phil sighed.

                “But yeah, I knew. Harry found out somehow and told me.”

                “Oh,” Dan was surprised, for some reason. Why would Potter help Phil?

                “Good thing he did, too. I would never have come up with the dog thing on the spot.”

                “Speaking of, were those corgis?”

                Phil grimaced. “Yeah. No matter how many times I practiced, they kept coming out that way. My neighbors back home had one, I guess I couldn’t not think of him.”

                Dan laughed. “It’s fine, at least it worked. You got your egg.”

                “I got my egg,” Phil glanced at his bedside table, the egg glowing on top. “They said it’s my clue for the second task. Do you think I’ll be breeding chickens, or—”

                “Open it, find out.”

                Dan let go of Phil’s hand to grab the egg, and placed it in the open hand.

                “I’ll need help,” Phil said, “I’m not supposed to move the burnt side.”

                “Right,” Dan reached over to twist open the top of the egg and a horrible shrieking erupted from it.

                “Close it, close it, close it,” Phil pushed the egg at Dan and it took him a second to get it in the right position – when he shut the egg, the shrieking stopped.

                “Well, great,” Phil moaned. “I’ll be facing a banshee now.”

                Dan shook his head, placed the egg back on the table. “They said it’s a clue – there has to be a way to solve it. We’ll figure it out.”

                “You’re not supposed to help me,” Phil raised his eyebrows, but he was smiling.

                “Go back to bed, Phil.” Dan took Phil’s hand again, smiled down at him.

                Phil made no attempt to sleep, just lied there staring at Dan until Madam Pomfrey came back in to treat Phil’s burns again and ushered Dan out into the lonely castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come visit me on tumblr at howelnlester!


	4. The Yule Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"well, I need a partner.” Phil looked down at his hands, resting on the table._   
>  _“I – I don’t get it.” Dan was losing track of the conversation fast, not sure what he was supposed to say._   
>  _“Like we need to bring a date – someone to dance with. Because we have to do the first dance at the Ball.”_   
>  _Oh,” Dan said, an odd feeling bubbling in his stomach – it wasn’t dread, not like when Phil’s name was pulled from the Goblet of Fire, but he felt similarly sick._   
>  _“And I just – well, the only person I could really think to ask was you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be out Christmas Eve but my sister came home for Christmas, and it didn't happen. Anyways, it's here now! Happy Holidays everyone, I hope this week has been okay no matter what you celebrate!

                Dan dropped a massive stack of books and papers onto the table in front of Phil; they landed with a smack and Phil jumped in his seat.

                “Honestly – dragons, you can manage. But god forbid you’re faced with an unexpected noise—”

                “Please,” Phil interrupted, “tell me this is for your Potions essay.”

                “Nope, more theories.”

                Phil groaned and Dan slid into the chair across from him – they’d had to move from the library as they were making too much noise, but Dan had found a nice abandoned classroom on the fifth floor with long tables.

                “So,” Dan started – Phil dropped his head onto the stack dramatically. “The first couple of books deal with banshees, but I still think it’s too easy, so I went digging in the Muggle Studies section—”

                “Dan—”

                “I found a book on muggle warfare and in it, there’s a Morse code index—”

                Phil groaned again and lifted his head to bang it on the stack once, then twice.

                “Because I think that the pitch change could be our key – when the shrieking is higher, it could be a Morse code point, when it’s lower, a rest.”

                “I have an Ancient Runes test coming up, I really need to—”

                “Funny you should mention that!” Dan gently swatted Phil’s head away from his stack of books and grabbed one from the bottom. “I’ve been looking into old languages, particularly based in South America, because I think that—”

                “Do you not have anything else to do? Any homework?” Phil asked, eyes tired.

                Dan did, in fact, have homework to do. He had never been so behind on assignments in his entire life. He couldn’t seem to bother himself with Charms and Transfiguration when he could be figuring out how to save Phil’s life, though, so he pushed them to the back of his mind.

                “I don’t have anything more important to do, no.” Dan finally answered, but it was too late. Phil could tell that he was lying.

                “Please, Dan, let me do course work. Do your own course work. I have months to figure the egg out – this test is in two days.”

                “Phil—”

                “And it’s almost Christmas, Dan—”

                He sighed. “Fine, study. I’ll find something to work on.”

                Dan decided to do his Transfiguration assignment after all, not like he could help Phil all that much if Phil didn’t want to be helped.

                They worked quietly long into the evening, and after a while Dan noticed that Phil had stopped studying, and was instead watching Dan, a bit nervously.

                He ignored it for a bit, rushing to finish the last few paragraphs for his paper. It was not his best work, but he had more important things to worry about anyways.

                Phil cleared his throat and Dan finally looked up. “So—”

                Dan waited for Phil to continue, but he didn’t.

                “You okay?” He asked, smiling and Phil nodded.

                “I was just – well I was wondering if you were staying at Hogwarts for Christmas this year.”

                “Oh,” Dan relaxed a bit, “yeah, I want to see how this Ball thing is going to go. I heard a rumor that Dumbledore booked the Weird Sisters—”

                “Cool, I’m staying too.” Phil cut in – he seemed a bit flustered, almost twitchy.

                Dan nodded. “It should be fun.”

                “Yeah, well, I have to stay either way, because it’s a Triwizard Tournament thing.”

                “Oh, I’m sorry, Phil. I’m sure your family will understand.” Christmas was a big deal in Phil’s family, and family was a big deal in Phil’s family. Missing Christmas was something that Phil probably felt incredibly guilty about.

                “They do, they know it’s important, but—” Phil trailed off again, Dan reached out to pat his hand.

                “I’m sorry you’re missing your family, Phil.”

                “Right, but you know it’s a Triwizard Thing, yeah?”

                “Missing family?”

                “No, the Yule Ball,” Phil pulled his hand out from under Dan’s, took a breath. “We have to – I don’t know, it’s super weird, but we have to open the Ball with a dance. The four of us do, I mean.”

                “Oh,” Dan tried to hold back a laugh – Phil dancing in front of a massive crowd? Now Dan was excited. “Do you need help practicing, or—?”

                “No, I need – well, I need a partner.” Phil looked down at his hands, resting on the table.

                “I – I don’t get it.” Dan was losing track of the conversation fast, not sure what he was supposed to say.

                “Like we need to bring a date – someone to dance with. Because we have to do the first dance at the Ball.”

                “Oh,” Dan said, an odd feeling bubbling in his stomach – it wasn’t dread, not like when Phil’s name was pulled from the Goblet of Fire, but he felt similarly sick.

                “And I just – well, the only person I could really think to ask was you.”

                “Me?” Dan said, too loudly, much louder than Phil. “Like, as a date?”

                “Well,” Phil blushed furious red, blatant on his pale skin. “As my date to the Ball, yes, but it didn’t have to be super, well, you know.”

                Dan swallowed hard. No, he didn’t know. He didn’t get it. He didn’t understand why Phil would pick him and what kind of date he was supposed to be and – and oh god, Phil wanted Dan to dance with him in front of the entire school, and Beauxbatons, and Durmstrang.

                “Um,” Dan’s mind went entirely blank, his heart pounded loud in his chest. He could not think of a single word to say.

                “I know that it’s, well, different,” Phil was still staring at his hands. “For us, I mean. But I know that the whole thing would be a lot more bearable with you by my side.”            

                “Uh—”

                “How about,” Phil finally looked up, and met his eyes for a second before Dan looked down. “You think about it. Tell me later, okay?”

                Dan nodded and realized that he was gathering his schoolwork. He hadn’t meant to, but it was dark, and Phil started to get his things together as well.

                “Can we do more homework again tomorrow? I have so much to do before term ends. Why are they like this? Every year, as if we have the time for eight tests and ten assignments.” Phil rambled, not nervously, but quickly. Quickly enough that Dan didn’t need to add anything to the conversation as they walked out of their classroom and begin to head to their dormitories.

                “See you at breakfast tomorrow?” Phil asked, finally pausing as they reached the staircase Dan needed to take to the Gryffindor tower.

                “Yeah, see you,” Dan stood still for a moment longer but Phil was gone in a blink, rushing away.

                Dan walked to the common room in a bit of a daze, mind strangely blank. It seemed to take less time than usual to reach the Fat Lady, despite all of his extra books.

                He found Louise by the fire – she was knitting something for someone for Christmas. “Hey,” Dan said as he approached and sat on the sofa next to her. “You’re still up?”

                “Yeah, wanted to finish this up,” she gestured to the thing – maybe it was just a very oddly shaped scarf. “You’re back early.”

                “Am I?” Dan’s voice went higher than it should have, and he winced.

                “Oh dear,” Louise stopped her knitting and looked up. “Has something gone wrong?”

                “No, everything is fine.”

                “Did you and Phil argue?”

                “No, we’re fine. Well, I think.”

                “What do you mean, you think?”

                “He asked me to the Yule Ball.”

                “Oh,” Louise kept her face steady, but her voice went a bit high. “That’s good, right?”

                “Uh – it is?”

                “Well, you – you do like him, don’t you?”

                “I do?”

                The corners of her mouth began to turn downwards. “Well, Dan, it’s just, you talk about him so much.”

                “He’s my best friend,” Dan reminded her. Best friends talked about each other, right? Dan had only ever had one but it seemed pretty instinctual to him.

                “Well yes, but you were just so upset when he was picked for the Triwizard Tournament. And when the Death Eaters attacked the World Cup.”

                “Yeah, because he’s my best friend.” If Dan didn’t worry when his best friend was in danger, he’d be a right terrible best friend.

                “We know, Dan but—”

                “Wait, who’s we?”

                “Well, me, and Jack and—”

                “So everyone thinks I have a thing for Phil?” Dan asked, strangely calm.    

                “Dan – you don’t talk about him like friends talk about friends. Not even best friends.”

                “Oh,” He said, and slumped back into the sofa.

                “Do you not like Phil?” Louise said, clearly disbelieving.

                “I don’t know, I’ve never really thought about it.”

                But that wasn’t true – Dan was suddenly brought back to the Start-of-Term Feast when he had fantasized about winning the Triwizard Tournament, and Phil with it.

                “Hmm,” Louise shook him out of his thoughts with a hum, gathering up her knitting. “Well, I could have been wrong. No pressure, Dan.”

                He nodded, though he didn’t really know what she meant.

                “But just so you know,” she shoved her things under one arm and touched his shoulder with the other. “If you did like Phil, nothing would change. Not with me, not with Jack, not with anyone else.”

                And then she stood up and headed up the stairs to the girls dormitories, leaving Dan slumped on the couch, tired, confused, and alone.

                It wasn’t that he was worried about things changing with his friends – he knew that his friends were fine with their relationship, no matter the kind, even though Phil was a Hufflepuff.

                But dancing in front of people? Not just people he knew, either, but complete strangers.

                And – the thought occurred to him, abruptly and painfully – that he wasn’t even sure that _Phil_ liked _him_. He’d said something strange about it “ _not having to be, you know_ ,” which could really mean anything. After all, why would Phil like him? Phil – the Hogwarts champion, a beautiful seventh year, popular and successful—

                It just didn’t make much sense.

                Dan gathered his pile of books and went into his own dormitory, dropping his research unceremoniously next to his trunk.

                “I’m going to trip on those in the morning,” Jack whined from his bed, where he was lying down, reading.

                Dan just hummed and sat on his bed, facing Jack. “I’m at least a little desirable, right?”

                “Sure, Dan, a complete knockout.” Jack didn’t even look up.

                Dan sighed. “I’m serious. Like, I’m dateable, right?”

                Jack dropped his book to his chest and looked at Dan. “Yeah, I mean, you’re not exactly my type, but—”

                Dan rolled his eyes. “But if I _were_ —”

                “Are you going somewhere with this?”

                Dan twisted in his bed to lie down – better to stare at the ceiling than Jack during this conversation. “Are you going to the Yule Ball?” Dan asked instead of getting to his point – if he even had one.

                “Yeah, it’ll be sick, are you?”

                Dan hummed again. “Are you bringing a date?”

                “Well, I was planning on asking Hazel—”

                “Like, Slytherin Hazel?” Dan interrupted. He propped himself up on his elbow to look at Jack. “Hazel would-probably-kill-anyone-who-crossed-her Hazel?”

                Jack grinned. “She’s hot.”

                Dan sighed and flopped back down onto his back. “But what if your friend wanted to go together – like what if Louise asked you to the Ball?”

                “Louise isn’t going to ask me to the Ball. She thinks I’m a rat.”

                “That’s because you _are_ a rat.”

                “Hey—”

                “But just _say_ —” Dan’s voice went a bit too high – it was like he was 12 again. “Just _say_ Louise asked you to the Ball. What would you do?”

                “Is she asking me as a friend or as a not-friend?”

                “You don’t know.”

                Jack was quiet for a moment but Dan fought the urge to look at him. “I guess it would depend on if she thought of it as a date-thing of not. I’d have to ask.”

                Dan groaned. “It doesn’t matter, would you go?”

                “I guess so, if she asked. It would be better to go with someone I knew I got along with.”

                “Okay, what if she was one of the Triwizard champions? What if you had to dance with her in front of everyone?”

                An awkward moment of silence fell before Jack spoke again. “This isn’t about Louise, is it?”

                “Please, Jack—” Dan’s voice dissolved into desperation. “What would you do?”

                “I’d go.” Jack answered quietly. “I can’t imagine what he – er – what she would be going through, being alone like that. If she needed me to stand with her, then of course I’d go.”

                Dan wasn’t sure if that was what he wanted to hear or not. It certainly didn’t help him figure anything out.

                “I’ve just – well I’ve really never been good at being in front of people,” Dan mumbled.

                “That’s okay,” Jack said softly, “You don’t have to be. You just have to be there for him.”

                “It’s just—” Dan trailed off, had no idea what he had left to say.

                “I know it’s scary, I know it’s a lot of people, but imagine you were him – who would you ask? If you were the Hogwarts champion?”

                Dan didn’t have to think. If he had to dance in front of a crowd, he’d only make it through in Phil’s arms.

                “Say yes, Dan. You want to help him – here’s your chance.”

                Dan closed his eyes and when he slept, he dreamt of being twirled around a glittering, grand room.

 

                Dan slid into the chair across from Phil quietly and began to take out his books.

                “No egg stuff today?” Phil asked, hopeful.

                “Nah,” Dan had spent half of the night reading up on muggle wars only to realize that Phil would probably know most of it already and felt stupid, but Phil didn’t need to know that. “I’ve got test to study for.”

                “Me too!” Phil was being way too enthusiastic about studying for it to be real. Dan knew Phil – knew Phil too well probably. Knew Phil since his first day on the train, knew Phil better than he knew anyone else in the world. And he knew that Phil was purposefully trying to be cheerful, purposefully trying to make Dan happy and purposefully not bringing up the Yule Ball—

                “Yes,” Dan blurted, and began to redden.

                “Yes?” Phil asked, eyes lighting up. “Yes to—”

                “Yes, I’ll go to the Ball with you,” Dan was grinning, he was blushing, he felt like a kid again.

                “Great!” Phil looked like he felt much the same, grinning just as wide.

                “We should probably study,” Dan gestured to his books.

                “You’re right,” Phil agreed. They stared at each other for another moment, then Phil looked down and started his homework, but the smile didn’t leave his face the rest of the night.

                Once the sun had long set, Phil insisted on walking Dan back to the Gryffindor common room, which was ridiculous, really – Dan had been able to find his way there for six years on his own. But he couldn’t complain because Phil was shining so, so bright, and Dan wanted to stay with him forever, keep him this bright.

                “What colour are your dress robes?” Phil asked out of nowhere, swinging his arms as he walked.

                “Black, I thought it would look classic—”

                “It will! It’ll be perfect! Mine are blue, well, dark blue—”

                “So we’ll look good together, excellent—” Dan hadn’t meant to say it, wasn’t sure what made him do so. But it was true, and the look Phil gave him told him that it was the perfect thing to say.

                “I know! It would have been so hard to find complimentary dressing robes this late—”

                By the time they reached the Fat Lady’s portrait, they had the whole night planned. It reminded Dan of those dances in the muggle movies that Phil liked – maybe that’s why it seemed to mean so much to Phil.

                “So – I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” Dan asked – his voice woke the Fat Lady and she started to grumble.

                “Of course!” Phil grinned and hovered, Dan wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do.

                They stood staring for a few minutes until the silence was broken by the Fat Lady’s heavy sigh. “Either kiss already or get in here, I was sleeping,” she mumbled, and Dan felt his face heating.

                “Tomorrow,” he repeated to Phil, and Phil nodded.

                “Tomorrow!” And then Phil turned and headed back for his common room.

                Dan watched after him until the Fat Lady sighed again. “I felt the tension and I’m a painting.”

                “Shut up,” he mumbled. “Fairy Lights,” he said, and waited for her to open.

                “I was seconds away from kissing him myself!”

                “Fairy Lights!” He repeated the password and she opened, letting him into the common room.

                He scanned the room and saw Louise sitting in the chair by the window, asleep. He walked over and poked her awake – she jumped in her chair.

                “Oh, how did it go?” She seemed too excited, and Dan realized she had been waiting for him. “Jack told me – well – did you say yes?”

                Dan smiled and nodded, she squeaked.

                “That’s fantastic! I bet he’s so excited! I bet _you’re_ so excited!”

                Dan laughed, and shook his head to her. “It’ll be fun, yeah.”

                “Is it as friends? Or as a date-date?” She asked, and suddenly Dan felt a pit in his stomach.

                “Uh, I’m not sure, actually.”

                “Oh!” Louise stood and smiled too wide. “Well it doesn’t matter either way! Jack said you said yes to help him, right?”

                He nodded, and smiled back, a little weakly. “I’m going to bed, just thought you’d want to know.”

                “I did!” She hugged him. “I’m so happy for you guys!”

                “Thanks,” he mumbled, pulling away. “Night, Louise.”

                “Night!”

                He climbed the stairs to his dormitory slowly, feet heavy. He couldn’t place what felt wrong about the whole thing, but something did. He said yes because he liked Phil, he said yes because when he imagined his life, his future, he imagined it with Phil.

                He didn’t say yes because Phil needed a date, or because it would be easier for Phil to face the school with him.

                And the reason did change things – if Phil was only asking Dan because it made his night easier, Dan might fall apart.

 

                The days leading up to the Yule Ball were tense – those who didn’t have a date were scrambling to find someone to take to the Ball, everyone was frantically trying to get gifts ready for friends and family that weren’t at Hogwarts – the owls had never been so overworked. People were stressing over their dress robes and their hair and their shoes – Dan was reminded of the frenzy before his cousin’s wedding a few years ago.

                Though – he didn’t feel so frantic himself. Dan was quietly excited as he prepared for the Ball. He practiced dancing with Louise in the common room after everyone else had gone to bed, and he was confident that he wouldn’t look like a total loser.

                Louise was excited too – she’d ordered in a box of pink hair dye and was sure that it would look good on the ends of her blond hair. Dan was dragged into that idea – he’d helped her spread the paste evenly over the back of her head.

                No one seemed too bothered to see Dan in the girls bathrooms, they kind of just ignored him and Louise and their mess of pink paste.

                One particular group of girls had been in there almost as long as them, using face masks. They were mostly just talking about their skin, but the subject changed when Dan was finally rinsing the paste out of Louise’s hair in the sink.

                “So no success with the date yet, Cat?”

                Dan was pretty sure that Cat was a pretty Slytherin girl, but he didn’t really know the group of girls. She sighed heavily. “No, I asked Phil, but I was right. He’s already taking somebody.”

                “That makes no sense, I’ve asked everyone. He _can’t_ have a date.” Cat’s friend whined, and Louise and Dan exchanged a look.

                “Well, he says he already has a date—” Cat repeated.

                “Who is it?” The friend asked, sounding skeptical.

                “Well, he didn’t say, but—”

                “See? No one knows who he’s taking, it must be no one! What other reason would there be for him to not tell anyone?”

                Dan avoided eye contact with Louise as he finished rinsing her hair. Once the paste was gone and only the pink remained, he straightened.

                “You good from here?” he asked, but didn’t wait for her to answer. He washed his hands quickly and pushed his way out of the bathroom, drying his hands on his robes.

                Dan began to walk aimlessly – he didn’t want to go back to the common room but he didn’t really have anywhere else to go.

                He was somewhere downstairs when he turned and collided with Phil, because of course he did.

                “Dan! What are you doing down here?”

                He was right by the Hufflepuff dormitories. Nice.

                He lifted his hands to shrug and Phil laughed. “You’re pink! Why are you pink?”

                Dan shrugged.

                “Well,” Phil grinned, “if it’s for the Ball you should have said something! But I can always do a bit of spellwork I suppose – you see, I found these sort of flowers—”

                “I can’t go,” Dan blurted, abruptly, without thinking about it or even meaning to.

                Phil’s face fell. “You can’t—”

                “I’m sorry.”

                “You can’t – why can’t you go? I thought you were staying?”

                “I was, I am,” Dan felt his eyes fill with tears. _What was he doing?_ “I just—” he gestured to his hands, then flailed them around, gesturing to the halls, as if they could be blamed. “I just can’t do it. It’s just so many people, Phil—”

                “It’s – it’s days away—”

                “I just – I can’t. I’m sorry.”

                And then Dan turned and ran.

 

                “You’re a fucking moron,” Louise hissed, again, from next to him. The sour face really ruined the whole look she had going on – she was in gorgeous gold and pink dress robes, and her newly pink hair was curled to perfection. Because she was a good best friend, she had brought him along on her date, but Dan felt rather miserable huddled next to her at the back of the crowd.

                They were gathered around the empty dance floor, waiting for the champions to enter. Dan had caught a glimpse of Cat, who Phil ended up asking, and she looked amazing in tall heels and dark blue dress robes.

                “You’re such a fucking, idiotic, moron,” Louise repeated, and Dan sighed.

                “I know,” he bit back. He was mad – mad at himself and mad at her and Phil and fucking Cat who looked like sex with legs. He was mad.

                “Then _why_ did you _do_ it?” she asked for the fiftieth time just that night, and he clenched his jaw.

                “I don’t _know_ , it just sort of happened—”

                But Dan trailed of – they were walking in. First was Fleur and her Ravenclaw date – Dan had no idea what his name was. He was rather bland next to her – he heard that she was part Veela, after all.

                Krum followed, a pretty girl in periwinkle blue dress robes on his arm. It took Dan too long to recognize Hermione Granger – her hair was smooth and tidy, and she was standing taller than usual.

                “Hmm, I wondered who had asked her,” Louise whispered. “She looks quite nice, don’t you think?”

                Dan didn’t bother answering, didn’t even bother glancing at Louise. Phil was gliding into the Great Hall, beaming. His dark robes made his eyes glow, and he glanced over the crowd, passing over Dan without hesitation.

                Dan realized that he was starting to cry – again, dammit – but he couldn’t look away. Harry and his date followed Phil and Cat into the hall but Dan couldn’t look away from Phil.

                “Dan,” Louise grabbed his arm, pulling lightly, but he shook her off.

                Music started – a bouncy, romantic song. Phil – still beaming – placed his hand on Cat’s back, pulled her close. Her hand was rested on his shoulder, and their other hands were joined, fingers intertwined.

                He spun her around the room, robes twirling, her hair flipping as they turned.

                Louise pulled on his arm again, lightly. He tore his gaze away to look at her – pity was all over her face.

                “Um – I don’t feel that well, to be honest,” he mumbled. He looked down – she had seen his tears already but he didn’t need to be blatant.

                “Dan,” she started, but he shook his head.

                “I’m fine, ate something weird at lunch, is all,” Dan wiped his cheek absently, he heard her exhale. “I think I’m going – I’m just going to go to bed.”

                “I can come with you—”

                “No, no,” Dan began to step away. “You have fun. I just need to sleep it off.”       

                He didn’t see Phil’s smile fade as Dan bolted out of the Great Hall, but it wouldn’t have made much of a difference, anyways.

 

                Dan, surprisingly, did fall asleep. He hadn’t even bothered to get into his pajamas, just threw his dress robes onto the floor and drew his curtains, cuddled into the covers. He was woken by someone coming back into the dormitory too loudly, banging up the stairs and slamming the door shut behind them.

                Dan figured it was a Weasley – they had no concept of quiet. He drew the covers up higher, but a throat cleared – a very not Weasley sound, and Dan froze.

                “Louise – er – Louise snuck me in,” Phil said, and Dan heard him shuffle his feet. “Dan?”

                “Yeah?”

                “Can I come in?”

                “I’m – I’m not dressed – but I guess—”

                Phil slipped through the curtains, keeping them shut around the bed, and flopped down over the covers, next to Dan.

                They laid next to each other in silence for a moment, staring up.

                “You left so quickly – almost right away—”

                “I wasn’t feeling well,” Dan explained weekly, Phil nodded.

                “I don’t understand,” Phil’s voice was soft, low. “You said yes then you said no then you ran out crying – I don’t know what I’ve done, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

                Dan didn’t know either – didn’t know why he didn’t go with Phil, why it was so hard to see Phil dancing with someone else.

                “I thought—” Phil trailed off, and Dan really didn’t want to hear the end of the sentence. He had to though, he had to know.

                “You thought what?” he asked, thickly, voice weak.

                “I thought that – well, after all this time, I thought you might like me.”

                Dan breathed in, and out. He did – he really did.

                “And I’m obviously not – like it’s okay if you don’t like me, I won’t be mad or anything. I just don’t understand what you want.”

                “I want you to live through this damn tournament.” Dan mumbled. “I want you to make it through the school year, and then I want you to not be murdered by Death Eaters.”

                Phil sighed, and Dan couldn’t figure out why he had said that. “That’s all I think about, Phil,” he turned in bed, flipped onto his side to meet Phil’s eyes. “All I can ever think about is you dying, I’m going insane.”

                Phil shut his eyes, facing the ceiling. “You’re not insane, Dan.” Then he shifted, began to stand.

                “Where are you going?” Dan asked – he was crying again.

                “To bed, I’m exhausted. This is exhausting.”

                “Then why did you do it? Put your name in the cup?”     

                Phil exhaled heavily. “Because I needed to know I could.”

                “I don’t get it.”

                “I knew you wouldn’t. You never will.”

                “Then explain it to me, please,” Dan sat, held to covers to his chest with one hand, reached to pull Phil back down with the other. “Explain why you would want to put yourself through this. You could die.”

                “I know,” Phil whispered.

                “Then why?”

                “Because I needed to know I could do it. I needed to know I’m a—”

                “A what?”

                “A wizard.”

                Dan stared at Phil blankly – wondered if he was supposed to laugh. But Phil was serious. “You’re – of course you’re a wizard, you’re here—”

                “This is why you can’t understand—” Phil sighed. “I need to know that I should be here, that I deserve to. Like what do tests and classes tell me? What good are marks in real life, you know?”

                “No, I don’t know,” Dan whispered. “Tests, marks – they tell you that you can do it, that’s how it is for everyone else—”

                “But I’m a muggle-born. It’s like you keep saying about the Death Eaters – I needed to know I could do it. Fight. If I had to, I mean.”

                Dan shook his head. “But it’s dangerous—”

                “That’s the point, Dan.”

                Dan sighed, fell back into bed. “I don’t want to lose you,” he mumbled, staring up away from Phil.

                “You won’t,” Phil started standing up again.

                “Don’t go,” Dan practically whimpered – he was really pathetic.

                “I’m tired, Dan—”

                “So sleep here,” he looked at Phil – shock in his eyes. “Please,” Dan reached out, Phil shook his head.

                “Won’t I get in trouble?”

                “Please,” Dan closed his eyes, and heard Phil sigh, but he laid back down.

                He kept his eyes closed for what felt like a really long time, lips pressed together. He wanted to curl up into Phil’s side but wasn’t sure that he was allowed. After all they had said, Dan still had no idea how Phil felt about him.

                “I think—” Dan whispered, finally, “I think that I said no because it made it all too real. I can’t lose you if you aren’t mine.”

                Dan waited for a long minute, but Phil said nothing. He opened his eyes and turned, but Phil was long asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come visit me on tumblr at howelnlester


	5. The Second Task

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Dan had been worried that there might be some sort of lingering awkwardness but, even more infuriatingly, nothing had changed at all._  
>  Dan was pouring his energy into figuring out the egg and Phil was finally showing a bit more interest, but no concern at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited for this one... this whole chapter is the reason I started this fic in the first place! I will give a warning for a bit of nakedness, I guess. It's nothing you haven't read before, trust me
> 
> thank you to the lovely fireboltinsky4 for helping me work up the motivation, and thank you to anyone who's been reading!

                Classes resumed after the holidays without ceremony, assignments and essays piling up before Dan had even finished a full school day.

                It was a lot, and while he was trying to keep up with homework, the impending second task was always on his mind.

                He and Phil still met up after class every day – Dan had been worried that there might be some sort of lingering awkwardness but, even more infuriatingly, nothing had changed at all.

                Dan was pouring his energy into figuring out the egg and Phil was finally showing a bit more interest, but no concern at all.

                “I stayed from Hogsmeade to finish my Charms essay, the second task still isn’t for ages,” Phil complained after Dan had closed and reopened the egg for the eighth time in an hour, trying to translate the shrieking into Morse Code. 

                “I’m not stopping you,” Dan raised his voice to be heard over the egg, but sighed and closed it again, because he’d lost his place.

                “I can’t think with all the screaming,” Phil whined. “It’s going to give me a migraine.”

                “I’m sure Madam Pomfrey has a spell for that.”

                Phil sighed loudly and stood, shoving his books into his bag.

                “Where are you going? I think I’m getting a word from this—”

                “I’m going for a bath,” Phil muttered, and Dan made a shocked noise that was not unlike the cries of the egg.

                “A bath?”

                “Yes, a bath. They help me think.”

                Dan rushed to gather his things, shoving the egg under one arm. “We need to figure this out!”

                “Later,” Phil sighed.

                “Now!”

                “How about—” Phil paused, turning to Dan. He had dark circles under his eyes and Dan wondered if Phil was as calm about the second task as he appeared. “How about you work on the egg while I take a bath, and update me if you make any progress.”

                “I need your help! It’s hard to decipher!”

                Phil sighed again and continued walking – he was going upstairs, away from the Hufflepuff dormitories.

                “I’m taking a bath. If you want my help that bad you can take a bath too.”

                Dan stopped abruptly, staring at Phil’s back as he continued on.

                “Wouldn’t that be weird?”

                Phil stopped too, turning back. “I was – I was kidding—”

                Phil shook his head, as if to set his mind back on track, and started walking again.

                Dan hurried his pace to catch up. “Where are you going?”

                “To have a bath,” Phil repeated tiredly.

                “But – this isn’t the way to the Hufflepuff dormitories.”

                “No, Cedric gave me the password to the prefects’ bathroom. The bath is like a swimming pool!”

                “Why would he do that?”

                “Because I like baths!”

                Dan sighed and continued to follow Phil, although he wasn’t sure what he was planning to do. “Phil – the egg—”

                “The egg will be here after my bath.” Phil snatched the egg from under Dan’s arm – he almost dropped it in the shuffle.

                “We need to—”

                “Dan, you’re my best friend, but would you please just shut up?”

                Dan fell silent, trying to figure out a plan.

                He had specifically stayed back, even though all of his friends were in Hogsmeade. He thought that the empty castle would give them more of a chance to work out the clue – the noise wouldn’t be bothering anyone. They still had a little over a month, but Dan was getting more and more nervous every moment. Once they figured out what the clue was even _saying_ , they’d still probably have to figure out what the message actually meant, and find a plan to keep Phil alive. Dan had no idea how hard it would be, but the magic Phil pulled off with the dragon was rather lucky. He might even need time to practice for the task.

                Phil finally slowed as they reached a door, turning to face Dan. “Um—”

                “I need to work on this egg. I can do it in a bathroom if you insist.”

                Phil sighed, gave the password, and walked into the bathroom.

                To give Phil credit, the bathtub kind of did look like a swimming pool, but with lots of nozzles that couldn’t possible all be for water.

                Phil set down his bag and the egg near the edge and turned a bunch of the taps so the bath began to fill impressively quickly, with water but also with bubbles, foam, and some sort of coloured stuff that smelled of bubble-gum.

                “I guess – I guess I’m going to get in, now—”

                Dan realized suddenly that he was making Phil very uncomfortable. But it was him that suggested it, so Dan shrugged and grabbed his muggle Morse Code book, turning to sit facing the wall, near the door.

                He heard splashing as Phil got in, and after a few minutes, the rushing sound of water filling the bath stopped.

                He read his book in silence for another few minutes, trying to figure out a way to ask for the egg, when he heard a loud splash and Phil groaned.

                “You ok?” Dan asked, turning slightly to make sure he wasn’t bleeding out or anything, but his head was safely poking out from the bubbles.

                “I reached to put my glasses down but I knocked everything over,” Phil whined, and Dan noticed that the bag and the egg were missing from the edge.

                “Phil!” Dan cried, and rushed over. “The egg! Where’s the egg!”

                “I dropped my glasses in too, I can’t tell, oh—!”

                “The egg?”

                “No, my bag!” Phil used his foot to lift the bag out of the water, tossed it to the side.

                “But the egg! What if it’s ruined!”

                “I’m looking!” Phil was shuffling aimlessly around the bath, but it was so massive that he’d never find it with his feet.

                Dan sighed and began to undress. “Don’t look, okay?”

                “I can’t see anything anyways!” Phil’s cheeks were very red, and Dan felt himself heating as well.

                Dam slid into the bath near Phil’s drenched bag, trying very hard not to look anywhere near Phil. He was far too keenly aware that he was very naked, and Phil was very naked, and they were in the same bath protected only by a layer of foam.

                He took a deep breath. “I’m going to go under to look around.”

                “Okay,” Phil said feebly, curling up in the corner.

                Dan took another deep breath and ducked his head under, but stood again immediately.

                “What the _fuck_ —”

                “What? What happened?”

                “I don’t fucking – give me a second—” Dan ducked his head under again, and heard a beautiful chorus coming from Phil’s side of the bath.

                “There’s singing!” He broke the surface and moved towards the sound, not entirely able to forget his and Phil’s nakedness.

                “What? From where?”

                “I don’t—” It couldn’t be the egg, but Dan couldn’t think of anything else. “I’m going to check again.”

                Dan followed the sound this time, finding the egg just to the right of Phil’s feet. It had broken open in the fall, and was faintly glowing.

                He grabbed it but didn’t lift it from the water, just lifted his head. “Phil, the egg is singing.”

                “ _What_?” Phil took a deep breath and closed his eyes, then sunk into the water.

                When he rose, he looked at Dan with bright eyes. “ _We've taken what you'll sorely miss, an hour long you'll have to look, and recover what we took_ , they’re going to take something and we’ll have to find it—”

                Dan took a deep breath and listened through the entire song. “ _We cannot sing above the ground?_ Do you know what that is?”

                “It would have to be merpeople, right? How did I not think of that? The shrieking—” Phil was grinning for some reason, maybe he was less worried now that he was risking a possession and not his life. At least – Dan was comforted by the thought.

                “ _Come and seek us_ – so you’ll have to go to the merpeople. Can you swim?”

                “I can swim alright,” Phil appeared to have regained his excitement for the tournament, and was bouncing a little. Dan was made aware how close they were still standing, naked. Very naked.

                Dan took a subtle step away, closing the egg underwater and lifting it to hand to Phil. “Can you hold your breath alright, too?”

                Phil just laughed. “That’s the fun part, Dan!”

                “The fun part,” he scoffed, “it won’t be fun for me when you drown.”

                “I won’t drown – help me find my glasses?”

                Dan sighed but ducked underwater again, swimming back over to the side of the bath he entered. The glasses were not far from where they had dropped.

                Dan stayed under a little longer than necessary, exhaling slowly with the glasses in his hand. When he finally did resurface, he was gasping for breath.

                “ _An hour_ —” Dan fought to steady his breathing, and his voice. “You have to stay under for _an hour_ —”

                “Did you find my glasses?”

                “Want them by your bag?”

                “Please—”

                Dan set the glasses gently next to Phil’s sad, soaked bag, and started climbing out.

                “Towels are in that basket, over there,” Dan turned, halfway out of the bath, upper half exposed. Phil gestured to a basket next to the door.

                Dan nodded and took a breath – Phil was staring. Dan could ask him to look away, Phil wouldn’t argue. But for some reason, instead, Dan lifted himself onto the floor with his arms, pulling his knees in to stand. He didn’t doddle, but he didn’t rush to the towels. He thought he heard Phil gasp, but it was hard to tell, his heart was pounding so hard.

                He dried off his arms and legs before wrapping the towel around his waist and wandering back to Phil’s bag. “I might have a charm for this, but I did set a book on fire by accident, once.”

                Dan turned to Phil, who was very red, wide eyed, and pressing his lips together.

                “Go for it,” he mumbled, so Dan nodded, and tried his drying charm on the entire bag first.

                It did a decent job on the outside, but the books inside were still drenched. They were probably ruined but Dan did his best, salvaging the Charms book for sure and maybe half of what looked like a Potions essay. Dan winced.

                “You’re going to have to redo this,” he held it up, turned to Phil again. He hadn’t moved.

                “I remember most of it, I think—”

                “I’ll help you with what you don’t remember,” Dan tried the charm on Phil’s Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook, but the ink was already too smudged, and Dan didn’t know how to fix that.

                “You don’t have to do that – it was my fault—”

                Dan rolled his eyes. “I want to help, I like spending time with you.”

                “But you don’t have to spend all your time with me doing schoolwork.”

                Was. Was that. Flirting?

                “No,” Dan answered, maybe a bit tentatively. “We can work on your second task, too.”

                “We don’t have to do that, either.”

                “Then what else might we do?” Dan was blushing. This was flirting, it had to be. He turned, Phil still hadn’t moved, was still blushing as well.

                Phil cleared his throat. “We could – er – we could go to Hogsmeade like normal people—” Phil trailed off, ending his sentence like a question.

                “It was your idea to stay back,” Dan smiled – he was going for teasing, but he had no idea how it fell to Phil. Maybe he wasn’t flirting after all.

                “Next time, I mean,” Phil mumbled, looked down as he started to move back towards his bag and Dan. “Or we could play exploding snap, or chess. I just mean you’re working too much.”

                “I’m fine, mom,” Dan fell into the joking tone with ease – this was fine, this was comfortable. But he couldn’t help but notice the little twinge of disappointment – Phil wasn’t flirting after all.

                Phil laughed, and his tongue poked out between his teeth. “Says Daniel won’t-let-Phil-rest Howell.

                Dan laughed and stood to start getting redressed. “I’m going to come back here all the time, now. If I’d known what was in here, I might have worked a bit harder to make prefect.”

                Phil started to climb out of the bath – Dan busied himself with pulling books at random out of Phil’s bag to try the spell on again.

                “You’d never have made prefect.”

                “Well it was hardly going to be Fred or George, was it?”

                Phil laughed. “Jack is better at pretending to be innocent than you—”

                “True, and to be honest I would never have done the prefect duties anyways.”

                “Thought so,” Phil’s grin carried in his voice and Dan looked up out of habit. Phil was wrapped in a towel, but it was low on his hips.

                Dan looked back at the book in his hands quickly, but he was heating up. “What – um – do you have any ideas? For the task?”

                Phil hummed in thought. “Muggles do this thing sometimes – scuba diving – they bring a tank of air underwater and attach it with tubes to a mask so that they can breathe. There’s a course they’ve got to take, but anyone can do it. It’s not hard.”

                “So you want to use a muggle air tank? Where are you planning on getting one?”

                “I suppose an owl wouldn’t be able to carry it—”

                “And you’re only supposed to bring your wand, right?”

                Phil was silent for a moment, probably shrugged. Dan didn’t dare look at him to check.

                “I could always summon it though, like Harry did with the broom.”

                “You could,” Dan agreed tentatively – he thought that using muggle equipment might be cheating, and muggle technology didn’t work at Hogwarts, anyways. He wasn’t sure if this scuba diving was considered technology, but he didn’t want to risk Phil’s life on it.

                “Or, I suppose I can look for a magical way to do the same thing.”

                “Bring air underwater?”

                “Exactly,” Phil said, and Dan finally looked up – Phil was dressed.

                “Let’s go to the library!” Dan gathered Phil’s things to push into his arms, then started in his own bag.

                Phil groaned, but Dan could tell that he really wasn’t upset. “No celebrating?”

                “We can celebrate when you win,” Dan smiled and straightened.

                Phil grinned too widely, eyes lit up. “So I’m going to win now, not just survive it?”

                Dan pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. “You’re going to try, I assume.”

                But Phil saw through it, saw Dan as he always had. And he followed Dan to the library, and he kept grinning as Dan filled his arms with books, and for the first time, Dan was happy for the tournament, and that Phil was in it.

 

                It didn’t even take long, really, for Dan to find the Bubble-Head Charm.

                “You’re amazing!” Phil whispered, nose in the book that Dan had thrust in his face.

                “I’m still not convinced it’s the perfect way, but it should work—”

                “Of course it’ll work, it’s genius!” Phil’s voice went a little hoarse – they’d been in the library for hours, and all the whispering was getting to them.

                “It’s just about knowing where to look—”

                Dan trailed off as a third year Ravenclaw approached, with a strange dreamy look in her eyes. Dan nudged Phil’s hand and nodded his head towards the girl.

                Phil turned and smiled, she returned it. “Professor Moody sent me to find you, he wants to see you in his office as soon as possible.”

                “Thank you,” Phil whispered.

                 “I am rather hoping that Harry Potter wins the tournament, he stood up to Cornelius Fudge. The minister is trying to take over Gringotts.”

                She skipped off before either of them could respond, and Phil turned to Dan, laughing. “Her father writes the Quibbler, that magazine? She’s a bit odd but she’s a nice kid.”

                Dan smiled and began to gather his books.

                “Where are you going?” Phil asked, standing up himself.

                “Moody wants to see you, you heard the message.”

                “Me, Dan. Why are you coming?”

                Dan gave him a look. “And I’m going to stay here alone? Let’s go.”

                They quieted as they left the library – they were already on such thin ice with Madam Pince. As soon as they were out the doors, though, Phil was talking again.

                “I wonder what Moody wants with me? I mean, I know my last assignment was a little shoddy, but it was decent and he’s been fair so far—”

                “N.E.W.T. changes? Your exam might conflict with the third task?”

                “Maybe,” Phil hummed, “But wouldn’t Professor Sprout deal with that?”

                “I don’t know,” Dan shrugged. A few paces in front of them a door slammed open and they both jumped.

                “Lester, good timing,” Moody said, gruffly. “Walk with me.”

                “Uh – where are we going?”

                “Never you mind – I wanted to know how you were doing.”

                Dan and Phil exchanged a bewildered look, a step behind Moody.

                “Um – good, sir?” Phil hopped a few steps to catch up. “Busy with N.E.W.T.s, but who isn’t, right?”

                “With your clue, Lester. With the egg.”

                “Oh!” Phil turned to Dan, wide eyed. Dan shrugged. “Um – good, I think.”

                “You think? Have you figured it out, or not?”

                Phil looked back to Dan, then at Moody, then back again. Dan furrowed his eyebrow – he shouldn’t be there, he wasn’t supposed to have helped Phil, and Moody wasn’t supposed to be asking about it.

                “Um, yeah, I figured it out.”

                Moody stopped abruptly, and Phil tripped over his own feet to stop as well. “Interesting. What’s your plan?”

                Phil looked between Moody and Dan again, and their professor sighed. “Getting help with the tasks is as long standing a tradition as the tournament itself. What’s your plan?”

                “Oh. Well, I uh—” Phil looked at Dan, Dan just shook his head. “Dan found this Bubble-Head Charm.”

                Moody nodded. “A good find, a good spell. Have you heard of any progress from the other champions?”

                Phil was looking more and more anxious as the conversation went on, and more and more confused.

                “Uh – no, sir, I don’t really see them around.”

                “Hmm,” Moody turned and started walking again. “I was wondering about Potter, if he’d had any luck. Well, in any case, that’s all.”

                Moody sped away, before Dan or Phil could say anything more. Not that there was much to say. They stopped walking, leaving a distance as Moody rushed up a staircase that had appeared behind a gargoyle.

                “That was weird,” Dan muttered, and Phil nodded, but didn’t say anything. “Back to the library, then? Or do you want me to walk you back to your common room?” Phil nodded again and they turned back the way they came and began to walk in silence.

                Professor Moody was a weird guy. He was paranoid and aggressive, and probably suffered from some serious PTSD. He wasn’t cruel, but he wasn’t involved, it seemed, with students. He never seemed too concerned about Dan’s classmates or their exams, didn’t really express worry for the students competing in the tournament.

                So Dan was confused. There was something a little odd about his urgency, and his interest. Dan wondered, briefly, what Moody would have done if Phil had no plan at all.

                Dan looked over at Phil, who was watching his feet. His brow was furrowed and he was frowning – a strange look, on him.

                “You okay? That was pretty strange—”

                “I should tell Harry, shouldn’t I?”

                “About what?”

                “The egg? What if he hasn’t figured it out?”

                Dan stopped in his tracks, and Phil paused beside him.

                “Well,” Dan began, cautiously, “He has the same clue you do, same information—”

                “Yeah, but he’s fourteen years old.” Phil sighed. “He told me about the dragons. If he hadn’t told me—”

                Dan shook his head, didn’t want to think about that. “You want to win, Phil.”

                “Not if I did it unfairly.” Phil nodded to himself, this seemed to have solidified a thought. “I’m going to tell him.”

                He changed directions and started towards the Gryffindor tower, and Dan followed.

                “He might not even be in there—”

                “Luckily I have a handy Gryffindor to go look for me—”

                “I could just lie—”

                “Yeah, but you won’t.”

                “Why not?”

                “Because,” Phil didn’t look at Dan, but he smiled. “You can’t lie to me.”

                Dan thought back to the whole Yule Ball fiasco, and internally disagreed.

                “Anyways, it’s the right thing to do. You know it’s the right thing to do.”

                Again, Dan internally disagreed. He really could not care less about what Harry Potter was going to do, he just wanted Phil to live through the task.

                Then again, Harry knowing about the merpeople wouldn’t make much of a difference, in the end, so he supposed it wouldn’t hurt to help the kid along.

                Once they arrived at the Fat Lady, Phil stepped aside and gestured for Dan to enter. He gave the Fat Lady the password loudly, and she gasped. “No regard for secrecy with all you lovebirds. Between you and that Ravenclaw girl from last year—”

                Dan ignored her and stepped into the common room. Louise waved from the chair by the window and he mindlessly waved back, scanning for Harry.

                He spotted him sitting by the fireplace with Rom Weasley and Hermione Granger, all of them looking quite angry about something, stewing over a newspaper. He considered walking right back out but then pictured Phil’s face, sighed, and walked over.

                They all looked up as he approached, and he took a deep breath, “Hey, I was wondering if – well – Phil wanted me to come get you, he wants a word.”

                Harry looked up at him, a bit wearily. Ron and Hermione exchanged glances over Harry’s head, but neither of them said anything. Why was Dan so damn intimidated by a tiny group of fourth years?

                Harry sighed. “About what?”

                “Erm – I think it would be easier for him to explain—”

                Harry sighed again quietly but nodded, and followed Dan back out into the corridor. He had to resist the urge to look back – he was sure that Ron and Hermione were staring after him – but felt okay once he saw Phil’s almost proud smile.

                Dan glued himself to Phil’s side, and Harry looked between them, He had dark circles under his eyes, and he was rather slumped over. Dan regretted trying to convince Phil not to help Harry, despite himself.

                “Dan said you wanted a word?” Harry asked after a beat of silence, and Phil nodded.

                “I don’t know if you’ve figured out the egg yet—” Phil barely finished a breath before Harry’s defeated expression answered the question. “Well, you’ve got to put it underwater to get the message. We think it’s merpeople, we think they’re going to take something and we’ll have to go underwater to get it back.”

                Harry’s eyes widened. “Underwater—?”

                “Yeah. Open the egg underwater. Then you’ll hear the merpeople singing about recovering what they took, or at least, I’m pretty sure it’s merpeople—”

                “I don’t – why—” Harry spluttered, and Dan watched Phil’s eyes soften.

                “You helped me with the dragon, I would have been toast without the tip, well even more toast—”

                “Thank you, really—”

                “No worries, it’s only fun if it’s a fair fight, right?” Phil grinned and Harry paled a bit – Dan got the feeling that Harry didn’t really find any fun in it at all. “Oh, and I might as well – the prefects’ bathroom’s password is _pine-fresh_ , I’m sure Cedric won’t mind.”

                Dan agreed – Cedric would probably have done the same thing in Phil’s place.

                “Thank you, I should—” Harry pointed back to the common room and rushed inside. Hopefully he was going to get his egg.

                Phil nodded to himself a couple of times, then smiled at Dan. “I’m going to go see if I can work out the Bubble-Head Charm, or at least start. It’ll probably be best to do it in my dormitory—”

                “Good idea – we can practice in the prefects’ bathroom tomorrow. I’ll go copy down the page tomorrow, during my free period.”

                Phil grinned and shook his head. “What have I ever done to deserve you?”

                Dan blushed and looked to his feet, but he could practically hear Phil beaming. “Meet me in the prefects’ bathroom after class? Bring a swimsuit.”

                Dan nodded and looked up to smile at Phil, who waved cheerfully before turning to walk away.

                Dan started after him for a few seconds, and the Fat Lady made an odd “humph” sound. “You know, I always liked that one—”

                “Oh fu – _balderdash_.”

                “If you keep messing about, he’ll get away you know,” she sang, and Dan sighed.

                “ _Balderdash_!”

                She swung open and Harry rushed by with his egg, smiling nervously at Dan on the way out.

 

                Dan arrived to the bathroom first, so he let himself in and began to fill the bath. He had to try quite a few nozzles, but he finally found one that seemed to be just water, and he let it fill, testing the temperature every so often. As the water rose, he pulled his swimming trunks out of his bag and briefly considered just forgoing them, but his face heated at even the thought, so he changed and slid into the tub, swimming a few lazy laps.

                By the time Phil arrived the bath was full and Dan had turned off the tap. The water was mostly clear this time – Dan figured it would be easiest to practice without all the bubbles. Phil locked the door and pointed to his bag. “I’m just going to change—”

                “Alright,” Dan nodded, and dipped his head underwater to swim a bit more. Before Dan even needed to take a breath, He noticed Phil’s feet appear, then his legs. He must have already been wearing his swimming trunks.

                Dan stood, lifting his head, and paddled over to the side of the tub to get his wand. “How did it go yesterday, when you tried the spell?”

                “I got the bubble, I just don’t know how it’ll work underwater.”

                “Want to find out?”

                Phil took a deep breath and nodded. He reached back for his wand, pointed it at himself, and suddenly, his head was encased in a translucent sphere. It looked like he had placed a fishbowl upside down on his head.

                Dan fought the urge to laugh. Unable to completely contain his grin, he gestured to the water. “Ready?”

                Phil nodded and sunk his head under. He remained still a moment, but the bubble popped as soon as he had started to move. He rose, spluttering, and this time Dan did laugh, a little.

                “You okay?”

                Phil nodded. “It was fine until I tried to _breathe_ —”

                Dan laughed. “Okay, your little wand flick there, I think that was wrong—”

                Dan consulted his notes, copied from the library book so Madam Pince wouldn’t kill them if the instructions took on any water. The second bubble Phil tried stayed in tact until he turned around, and by the eighth bubble, Phil could do flips underwater without trouble.

                “Not too hard,” Phil said as he surfaced – it was a bit muffled by the bubble.

                “Not when you’re swimming in a bathtub,” Dan smirked, then hit Phil with expelliarmus out of curiosity. Sure enough, the bubble popped, and Phil’s wand flew onto the floor behind Dan.

                “Hey,” Phil whined, but he was still smiling. “That was my best bubble.”

                “So what, you were going to keep it until the challenge?”

                Phil shrugged.

                “We have to figure out how to strengthen it a bit, what will you do if it pops during the challenge?”

                “Cast a new one?”

                “Can you? Underwater?” Dan asked sceptically, and Phil shrugged.

                “I can try—”

                So they tried to work out how to cast the Bubble-Head Charm underwater, for a bit. The book hadn’t said anything about it, so they were going off common sense.

                Dan even tried for himself a few times, but it seemed that the bubble formed around their heads with whatever was around them included – so underwater, it wouldn’t work.

                The room started to darken, sun setting through the stained-glass window. Phil dropped his wand on the side of the pool and then rested his head on his arms. “Enough for today?”

                Dan reluctantly nodded, and began to climb out of the bath. A strange sound came from the nozzles as he did so – almost a sigh, or a whine.

                Dan looked to Phil in fear, and raised his wand to the nozzles. “Is – is anyone there?” He asked, feeling rather dumb, but there was a second sigh, and a ghost poured herself out of one of the taps.

                “Oh! Myrtle!” Phil exclaimed with far too much energy, and Dan raised his eyebrows at him. “I didn’t know you used this bathroom!”

                “I don’t, usually,” she whined, “But I’ve been so lonely, you see, no one’s been to visit me in months!”

                “I’m so sorry to hear that, Myrtle—” Phil said sympathetically and glared at Dan, as if expecting him to say the same.

                “Were you spying on us?” He asked instead, and Phil let out a low groan.

                “Spying! _Spying_! As if I have a choice, as if I _want_ to be stuck in the plumbing system of a school that killed me!”

                Dan regretted the accusation – he felt bad, he did – but the damage was done, so there was no point turning back.

                “How long were you watching?”

                “Only for a couple of hours! Not like there was anything to see this time—”

                “This time!” Dan cried, turning to Phil, who looked helplessly gobsmacked. “You were spying on us last time too?”

                Myrtle let out a loud cry at this, and Phil’s eyes widened. “Sorry, Myrtle, sorry, he didn’t mean anything by it, he’s just shy—”

                “Just shy! In front of me? I’m dead!”

                “It was a private bath!” Dan argued, despite Phil’s warning glares.

                “He was here!” She cried, pointing at Phil.

                “Yes, well—” Dan looked to Phil, who just stared back weakly. “He’s different!”

                Myrtle let out a wail. “You boys, all the same, always making promises and breaking them!”

                “We didn’t promise you anything!” Dan pointed out, and she began to sob louder.

                “Harry Potter, and now you two, everyone wants to make me miserable! It’s not fair—”

                Her words became indistinguishable rather quickly, and Dan and Phil looked at each other, then hopped out of the bath and began to dry themselves off. “We best be going—” Phil tried to say, gently, and then Myrtle was screeching about “Harry” and “after all I did” and “if it weren’t for you telling him what to do—”

                They dressed and gathered their things quickly – Dan double checked that they both had their wands – and then they were exiting with goodbyes that weren’t heard over Myrtle’s crying.

                They began to walk towards the Hufflepuff common room, exhausted. “That went well, all things considered,” Phil said, and his voice sounded so soft after all the screaming.

                “You mean, despite the obvious?”

                “Despite the obvious,” Phil agreed. “The charm will work as long as it doesn’t pop – I’m just worried that if it does, I’ll have to go up for air to recast it, which might take up too much time to complete the task—”

                Dan let Phil ramble – they both knew this, already, but Dan got the sense that Phil was dancing around what he really wanted to say. Finally, after a moment of silence, he took a deep breath.

                “What do you think that they’ll take?” Phil asked timidly.

                Dan had been wondering about this too, a lot, actually. It was the only thing in the clue that didn’t really have an answer, that couldn’t be found in a library book.

                “ _Taken what you’ll sorely miss_? I don’t know, Phil, it’s hard. My first thought was your wands, but then you’d never be able to get down to the merpeople—”

                “I was worrying about that too. I’m not sure what else it would be.”

                “Maybe they’ll let you cast your charms but then they’ll take the wands? I really have no clue.”

                Phil hummed, seemed to be lost in thought. Whatever they took, it had to be transportable and something that all four of them had – Dan had a sudden sinking suspicion that he had no intention of voicing to Phil. He’d much rather have been wrong.

                When they arrived at the Hufflepuff dormitories, Phil sighed. “I suppose we shouldn’t go back there to practice. If Myrtle is there again, we’re sure to be caught.”

                “You’re right, Black Lake?” Dan joked, but Phil sighed.

                “Probably should, you know?”

                The upcoming task seemed suddenly very, very real, and very, very imminent.    

                “Hey,” Dan reached out, rested his hand on Phil’s shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. “You’ll be okay.”

                Phil nodded, but looked solemn. “Can we meet in the library tomorrow? Maybe brainstorm a new place to practice and study a bit?”

                Dan smiled warmly, anything to make Phil happy. “I will be there.”

                And with that they said goodnight, but Dan felt that pit of dread in his stomach again, and he had to stop to be sick in two bathrooms on the way up to bed. 

 

                The night before the second task, Dan and Phil were huddled by the Black Lake – Dan in a thick coat and scarf, Phil just his swimsuit and a t-shirt.

                “I think the warming charm is wearing off,” Phil complained pressing into Dan’s side.

                “Want me to redo it?”

                Phil shook his head. “I should probably head up soon – get a good sleep.”

                Dan nodded – it was getting dark, and the second task was early the next morning.

                “One last go?” Phil asked, closing his eyes.

                “Sure, Phil.” Dan reluctantly drew his hand from his pocket to draw his wand, and with shaking fingers cast a tiny ball of light into the lake. It suddenly occurred to him that even though he was staying dry, there was no reason he couldn’t have cast a warming charm upon himself, too. “It’s ready,” Dan shoved his wand back inside his robes and buried his hands back into his pockets.

                Phil cast his Bubble-Head Charm and was in the water before Dan’s wand was even away – he had gotten quite fast.

                Since they didn’t know what he’d be looking for, and Phil had no interest in actually going in search of mermaids, they’d been practising with random items or, if Dan was lazy, little balls of light. Dan didn’t think it was going to help much with the finding aspect, but Phil was a much faster swimmer than he ever had been, so Dan didn’t consider it a total loss.

                They had also worked on his Bubble-Head Charm – sometimes Dan would go into the water with Phil to send harmless jinxes his way, testing its strength. It seemed quite random, if Dan was being honest. The bubble would sometimes hold against Dan’s toughest spells, sometimes it would pop after Dan had simply pointed his wand its way. Phil insisted that he cast it the same way every time – Dan wasn’t sure.

                All in all, Dan didn’t like their plan, but he hadn’t found anything more practical. He just hoped that Phil would get in and out alive, and that he wouldn’t lose his wand. If they took Phil’s wand, they had nothing to go on.

                Phil was back within the minute, reaching for his cloak from where it was tucked under Dan’s arm. “I don’t think—” Phil’s teeth were chattering, so Dan wrapped an arm around him and rubbed as they began to walk back. “I don’t think that there’s any more I can do.”

                “You’re ready. You’ll be great,” Dan didn’t think that it was the right moment to share his fears with Phil, who was staring down at his feet.

                “The charm can make it an hour—” Phil shivered – Dan tightened his grip.

                “It can, it has.”

                Phil’s charm had, in fact, lasted over two hours. That was the longest they’d tested it, on a slightly warmer day. Dan had cast his own Bubble-Head Charm as well, and they swam around the Black Lake together, pointing out fish and plants and odd objects that Dan would have loved to hear a story behind.

                Apart from that, it had lasted for over an hour a dozen times, with only a couple of mishaps. As long as Phil was not attacked, he would be fine.

                They walked into the castle and Phil let out a sigh of relief.

                “I could have cast another warming spell—”

                “I’m okay,” Phil smiled, but his lips looked a little blue.

                “Speaking of warming spells – I think you should do it right before you get in the water. I don’t know if it would be cheating to start with the spell already in effect—”

                “Why can’t you cast it for me,” Phil whined, “Yours always last so much longer—”

                Dan shook his head. “Don’t want to risk being disqualified, do you?”

                Phil sighed. “I suppose you’re right.”

                They lingered for another few moments, before Dan pulled Phil into a tight hug.

                “I might not get to see you before it starts, tomorrow, so—” Dan trailed off, took a breath, thought too much, then stopped thinking altogether. He pressed his lips to Phil’s, both too cold to get passionate, even if Phil wanted to. “Good luck, Phil,” Dan whispered without moving away, kissed Phil once more, quickly, and then turned and started up the stairs for Gryffindor tower.

                Jack and Louise were playing chess by the window and Dan stopped by to say hello.

                “Fred and George are looking for you—” Jack said as soon as Dan was in earshot, and he groaned.

                “Where are they?”

                “In the dormitory, I think—”

                Dan hopped up the stairs, removing his coat as he climbed. He opened his door and the Weasley twins were both sitting on Dan’s bed, frowning.

                “Ugh – what have you done to my—”

                “Mate, you’re hard to find, sometimes—” Fred complained, standing.

                “Where have you been?” George asked, and Dan clenched his jaw.

                “Oh, nowhere really you know—”

                “McGonagall needs you in her office. Sent for you an hour ago,” Fred interrupted.

                “Fuck—” he threw his coat on his bed, hitting George with his zipper. He head a muffled “hey,” as he slammed the door closed, racing down the stairs.

                He didn’t know what she wanted, but McGonagall hated waiting, and Dan didn’t want to get himself into any more trouble than he probably was already in.

                He was breathless by the time he reached her office, and paused to gulp some air before knocking. She called “enter” from behind the door, and he threw it open.

                He opened his mouth to apologize for keeping her waiting, but he found four sets of eyes staring at him rather than one, so he shut his mouth in surprise.

                “Kind of you to join us, Howell,” McGonagall said, smiling, but there was a weariness in her eyes – she almost seemed nervous. “Take a seat, please—”

                She conjured up a fourth chair – there were already three in front of her desk – and motioned for him to sit. He moved into the chair slowly, and for a moment was certain that he’d been called on for helping Phil with the tournament, seeing as Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley were sitting next to him, and he would be shocked if they knew nothing of the second task.

                There was the last chair though, and in it, sat a tiny girl with long, silver hair. She couldn’t even be eleven, she was just a child. Dan had never seen this little girl in his life, but he was positive that this must be Fleur Delacour’s sister. And there was no way that this girl was in trouble with McGonagall.

                Dan remembered his hunch, the pit in his stomach, and he knew immediately why he was there.

                McGonagall cleared her throat, and sat perfectly straight in her chair. “You all know, I expect, that the second task of the Triwizard Tournament will be taking place tomorrow morning?”

                Dan nodded, and saw the other nodded out of the corner of his eye.

                “You also probably know, or at least, some of you know, the nature of this task?”

                Dan’s eyes flickered to the side, Hermione and Ron were exchanging a guilty look.

                “It’s no matter,” McGonagall continued, and took a breath. “In this second task, the four champions must find a way to retrieve something from the merpeople in the Black Lake. Something important to them.” She looked them over expectantly, and nodded when her eyes met Dan’s. “You are, I’m afraid, what your champions will be retrieving.”

                A sickening silence fell, and Dan, inexplicably, wanted to laugh. “Why does Harry get two?” He asked, gesturing to Ron and Hermione. They looked at him, stunned, and he smiled weakly. He didn’t know why he said it – thought it would somehow lighten the mood.

                McGonagall sighed in frustration. “Harry Potter will be retrieving Ron Weasley. Viktor Krum will be retrieving Hermione." Ron shot her an awkward glare, and she blushed. "Gabrielle, Fleur will be coming to get you. And, Mr Howell,” She looked at him, expressionless. He grinned without humor. “Mr Lester will be seeking you.”

                He didn’t know why she had to say it that way, and her expression hadn’t shifted, but Dan could tell that she was rather pleased with herself.

                “You will be completely safe, of course. :Professor Dumbledore will enchant you into a sort of sleep – I won’t complicate things with the details – but essentially, you will be asleep until you reach the surface of the lake. When you wake, you will remember nothing from the water.”

                Dan nodded – he knew, he thought, the whole time, that it might be something like this. This was exactly the kind of thing Dumbledore would set up – the thing anyone would most miss is companionship. It was a very, very good motivator.

                McGonagall continued to explain, and Dan took it all very calmly. Ron and Hermione seemed to as well, though they occasionally exchanged glances that seemed to comprise an entire conversation. The poor girl – Gabrielle, Dan remembered belatedly – seemed a little lost. Dan wondered if she could even speak English.

                McGonagall led them down to the Black Lake when she was done and they followed in silence. Dumbledore was there when they arrived, along with Barty Crouch, Ludo Bagman, and, strangely, Professor Moody. “I trust the Professor McGonagall has brought you up to speed?” Dumbledore was standing tall, calm. Dan had never spoken to the headmaster directly, before. “I will once again stress that you are in no danger. We are keeping a careful watch, and we will be standing near the entire time.” He finished speaking and paused – he seemed to be waiting for a response.

                “Er – thank you, sir—” Dan mumbled, quite aware that this first impression was not going well.

                Dumbledore laughed, though. “Are you ready, Mr Howell?”

                Dan kicked himself for having spoken, as he seemed to have volunteered himself to go first. He stepped nearer and waited to be told to get in the lake, but he began to feel very, very sleepy all of a sudden, and wondered if he was still standing up—

                A cool gust of wind broke Dan’s haze and he shivered – he was wet. Oh. He was in the lake. It was daytime. And Phil had his arm around Dan’s chest, towing him to the edge of the lake. Dan could see Phil’s face out of the corner of his eye – there was no bubble.

                “Phil – the charm – did it work?” Dan asked, wiggling to duck out of Phil’s hold, swimming beside them.

                “Did it – you’re – yes Dan, it worked, obviously.”

                “Oh, I guess so.”

                He swam next to Phil, who was shaking and breathing quite heavily. He looked over the crowd that had gathered. He couldn’t see any of the other champions. “The others?” Dan asked, and Phil looked pointedly ahead.

                “Still down there,” Phil exhaled – it almost sounded like a hiss. He must be so exhausted, and cold.

                Dan increased his pace a bit, reaching to pat Phil’s shoulder. “Need a hand?”

                “I’m fine,” Phil huffed without looking at Dan. “You?”

                “No, I’m okay,” Dan pressed his lips together to keep from insisting, because he figured it would look pretty bad if the object in danger ended up carrying the champion along.

                The finally reached a point where they could stand, and it took Dan a second to find his footing –  his legs were asleep, or maybe they were numb from the cold. Phil stepped closer to him, glare softening. He wrapped his cool arm around Dan’s waist and they stumbled onto shore, right into a blanket being shoved upon them by Madam Pomfrey.

                They were still linked, huddled close together for warmth but mostly just for comfort – Dan got the sense that Phil needed it. Madam Pomfrey wrapped a second blanket over the first, so that they were one big lump, sat on the edge of the Black Lake.

                She continued to fuss over them between bouts of watching the water anxiously, and after a few minutes Phil’s arm slid away from Dan’s waist, but Dan caught his hand before it could get too far away, interlocking their fingers. He was reminded of the first task, and Phil’s burns, and grinned as he suddenly realized what Phil had done.

                “You won, Phil! You were here first!” He squeezed Phil’s hand, but at that moment a distressed, coughing Fleur Delacour rose from the lake, alone, and the moment was broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come visit me at howelnlester on tumblr, and thank you so so so much for reading!


	6. The Final Task (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It was strange how Dan had grown used to being with Phil – they had spent every day together for months – working on the egg, practicing the Bubble-Head Charm, even just sitting next to each other to do their own schoolwork. It seemed impossible that it was only a couple of months ago that Dan had been ignoring Phil for entering the tournament. They had gone entire summers without seeing each other, but Dan had never felt this far from Phil._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thank you to my faves, phanwithdogs, fireboltinsky4, and phantangled

                Phil was, completely inexplicably and irrationally, avoiding Dan. They hadn’t seen each other in over a week, not since the second task.

                It was strange how Dan had grown used to being with Phil – they had spent every day together for months – working on the egg, practicing the Bubble-Head Charm, even just sitting next to each other to do their own schoolwork. It seemed impossible that it was only a couple of months ago that Dan had been ignoring Phil for entering the tournament. They had gone entire summers without seeing each other, but Dan had never felt this far from Phil.

                He was getting desperate, lurking outside the Hufflepuff common room. It was ridiculous, and unnecessary. Dan missed Phil and he needed Phil and honestly, Phil needed him too.

                Dan had a free period Fridays, and he spent it hoping Phil would pop into his dormitory at some point. At first he had paced around the corridor so that when someone came near he could pretend to just be walking by. As the week wore on, he gave up and sat right in front of the door, looking up hopefully each time it swung open, only to receive sympathetic, but slightly patronizing, looks from other Hufflepuffs.

                As his free period was almost done, he finally found a bit of luck. The door swung open and PJ stepped out, lugging his bag full of books. He noticed Dan, sighed, and turned to walk away.

                Dan jumped to his feet. “Wait! Please—”

                “What’s up, Dan?” PJ said, a bit wearily, but he slowed to let Dan catch up.

                “Where’s Phil been?”

                “Catching up with N.E.W.T.s, you know, school stuff—”

                “Why haven’t I seen him?”

                PJ shrugged uncomfortably.

                “Please, where is he?” Dan had no shame anymore, but he was starting to sound pathetic, he was practically begging.

                “Double Potions, then he’s got Transfiguration—"

                “Fine, and after that?”

                PJ shrugged.

                “Please, I miss him—”

                PJ sighed and stopped walking. “It’s nothing you did, he’s just in a bit of a mood—”

                “It’s Phil! He doesn’t get moods—”

                “We’re going to Hogsmeade, tomorrow. We’re meeting Sophie in the Three Broomsticks. But I didn’t tell you, okay?” 

                “You’re the best, Peej, thank you!”

                “Yeah, yeah—” PJ mumbled as he walked away, leaving Dan near the Great Hall. He exhaled, and abruptly decided to skip Defence Against the Dark Arts. He instead went to the Gryffindor common room in search of Louise.

                She was lying on the sofa by the fire, stretched out with Suki curled on her stomach. Dan sat in the chair next to her and pulled out his Charms paper to work on while he waited for her to wake.

                It was a while, and when she did open her eyes she jumped up, tossing the poor cat to the ground, startled by Dan’s proximity.

                “Fucking hell—”

                “Hogsmeade? Tomorrow?”

                “Give me a second. My heart is trying to restart—”

                She sat back down and Dan sighed impatiently. “Tomorrow? Got plans?”

                “Planning to find new friends—”              

                “Louise!”

                “Why the sudden interest in Hogsmeade? I was under the impression that you were over it, considering you’ve bailed on the last two—”

                “Will you please go to Hogsmeade with me?” Dan enunciated too clearly, he was impatient and frustrated and Louise didn’t deserve that at all.

                “Wow, Dan Howell, gracing me with a whole afternoon of his time to visit Hogsmeade—”

                “You’re not helping,” Dan whined.

                “With what?”

                He contemplated lying, or just refusing to tell her, but he figured she’d just be mad later if he wasn’t honest. “Phil.”

                She sighed, but at least it was a sympathetic sigh. “What about him?”

                “He won’t talk to me, and I don’t even know why—”

                “Could it have to do with the Yule Ball disaster?” She said, rather sarcastically. Dan ignored the tone.

                “Can’t be, we’ve been totally fine, until now,” Dan answered seriously. “It’s just been since the second task – I thought maybe he was mad I wasn’t there to help him in the morning, but he _has_ to understand that I didn’t have a choice, right?”

                Louise smiled, a bit bemusedly. Dan kind of wanted to just walk away. “Dan, you’re my friend, and I love you, but you’re literally the biggest dumbass I know.”

                “What’s that supposed to mean? Do you know why he’s mad?”

                “I don’t think he’s mad. I just think he’s been avoiding you.”

                “Yeah, maybe, but you’re avoiding my question!”

                Louise sighed again. “I’ll go to Hogsmeade with you tomorrow, but I’m bringing Jack. I’m not down to be left alone.”

                “I won’t leave you alone. Probably. You’re the best!” Dan scooped up Suki and hopped up the stairs to the dorms. His classes would probably have just been review, anyways.

 

                Dan couldn’t stop looking for Phil, all the way from the Fat Lady to the Three Broomsticks. He didn’t see him anywhere, but then, he didn’t see PJ or Sophie either, so they might have gone out a bit earlier than Dan had. Louise had taken longer to do her makeup than she was supposed to.

                “What’s with you?” Jack asked after Dan and whipped his head around at a flash of dark hair, again. “You’re all twitchy, it’s weird.”

                “He’s a lovesick dolt, that’s what’s with him.” Louise answered, not bitterly. She was always in a much better mood when she hadn’t just woken up.

                “I thought we got over that with the Yule Ball?” Jack sighed.

                “Same, but unfortunately for us, one week of Dan drama is never enough.”

                Dan pushed the door into the Three Broomsticks without replying—he didn’t have anything to say. It was pretty accurate – he was a lovesick dolt.

                “There,” Dan nodded to a corner, where Dan could just see the top of Phil’s head over PJ and Sophie, who were joined at the lips.

                “Yeah. I don’t think so. You have fun, though,” Jack went to join Lee Jordan’s table, from which loud laughter was erupting.

                “I don’t think we should interrupt them—” Louise said, faintly, but Dan shrugged. “I’m going to sit with Jack—” she pointed over to the table, but Dan was already walking to Phil’s table.

                As he got closer he could see Phil’s face – he was looking down at his empty butterbeer, looking a little lost.

                Dan sat right next to him without warning, and Phil startled, wide eyed.

                “You’ve been avoiding me,” Dan said, matter-of-fact. He smiled when Phil looked over to PJ and Sophie, still deeply focused on the snogging.

                “I’ve not—”

                “Yes you have.”

                Phil looked at the couple helplessly. They didn’t break away.

                “Yes, I suppose I have,” Phil practically whispered it, staring down at the bottle.

                Dan watched Phil for a few seconds, staring down sadly, as if the drink could help if only it wasn’t empty.

                “Want to come for a walk?” Dan asked, aware but not too bothered by the fact the PJ was surely listening, despite being so wrapped up.

                Phil gave a small nod, so Dan stood up. Phil stumbled a bit as he got up and Dan reached out to stabilize him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

                Phil let out a feeble squeak but didn’t pull away, so Dan kept a hand on Phil’s back to guide him to the door. He felt eyes on them, but he didn’t care anymore. He wasn’t even sure that he ever had.

                Phil drew away a bit to get out the door, but let his hand slip into Dan’s. It wasn’t crowded outside, but there were still some Hogwarts students wandering around. Phil led Dan towards the Shrieking Shack, squeezing Dan’s fingers.

                It was growing too quiet as they got further from the Three Broomsticks – no one wanted to wander the streets in the cold. They hadn’t passed another person in a few minutes, and Dan squeezed Phil’s hand as a sort of warning. Phil inhaled sharply.

                “So, you’ve been avoiding me.”

                “Yeah, I’ve been avoiding you, a bit,” Phil sighed.

                “Why?”

                Phil watched his feet as they walked. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

                “I want to know why you’re avoiding me,” Dan pulled Phil to a stop, they were close enough the Shrieking Shack, if that had even been where Phil was going. It was creepy anyways, Dan hated to be anywhere near it.

                Phil still wouldn’t look at Dan, he just shook his head to the ground. “I don’t have an answer that you’ll like.”

                “Well, I don’t like that you’re avoiding me, so if that’s all your worried about—”

                “It has nothing to do with you, you know that, right?”

                “Um, no, because if it had nothing to do with me it wouldn’t be happening.”

                Phil finally looked up, his eyes pleading. “I don’t want to tell you, you wouldn’t get it—”

                Dan huffed, impatient, angry, tired. “I don’t care! Anything is better than this,” He felt a bit bad when Phil looked dejectedly back down, but he was desperate, and he wasn’t sure he’d get another chance to speak to Phil alone like this if he didn’t get it resolved now. “Is it – is it because I was the thing? In the task? Because I would be the thing you’d miss the most?”

                Phil rolled his eyes, the dick. “Of course you’re the thing I’d miss most, don’t be an idiot.”

                “Well, then—” Dan threw his hands up in the air, realizing only after he’d done it that he’d let go of Phil’s hand. “What is it? Like are you weirded out because you’d miss your best friend more than anyone else? Cause Ron Weasley was down there too, in case you didn’t notice—”

                “No, it’s not about that—”

                “Then what? You aren’t still mad about the Yule Ball are you? I thought we’d gotten over that—”

                “Dan!” Phil reached out and grabbed both of Dan’s wrists – he’d been waving his hands around in frustration. “You’re going to think I’m stupid—”

                “Can’t think much more so than I already do.” Dan smiled wryly, Phil just looked a bit exasperated. “Try me—”

                “I’ve been avoiding you because you remind me that I don’t care about anyone else,” Phil said, all in one breath, then look at the ground. He wasn’t mad, he was embarrassed.

                “What?” Dan tried to cover a laugh by clearing his throat – Phil glared at him meekly. “What  do you mean, you don’t care about anyone else? Like, anyone other than me? That’s not true, Phil, you’re the most caring person I know—”

                “Then I should have stayed there, with Harry. I should have waited until everyone was safe. I should have helped,” Phil looked close to tears, Dan shook his head.

                “Phil, you – you’re so adorable – Harry shouldn’t have stayed, there was no way Dumbledore and McGonagall would ever let anyone get hurt—”

                “It doesn’t matter. I’m supposed to – I should have—”

                Dan shook his head and twisted his wrists in Phil’s grasp so he could hold Phil. “The task was to get your person and bring them back. You did exactly what you were supposed to do – you couldn’t have known that they’d give extra points for staying back—”

                Phil groaned. “It’s not about the points, it’s about who I am – or who I thought I was, I guess.”

                “You’re still the same person, you’re still amazing and caring and—”

                “But I didn’t stay—”

                “Well, why didn’t you?” Dan asked, to humor him, realizing only as the words left his mouth that he already knew.

                “Because I couldn’t wait – I had to see you awake, alive – you don’t even understand how terrified I was, seeing you held under there, so pale—”

                “You almost died during the first task, how do you think I felt?”

                Phil ignored him. “When I got there, and Harry was there, I just – they could all have died. In that moment, I didn’t care. I’d have let them all die if I could save you.”

                “Oh, Phil—” Dan took a step closer.

                “I’d do it again, too. That’s the worst part. I know that I should have stayed but I wouldn’t do it any differently if I had to do it again—”

                “Phil—”

                “And you thought I was mad because you were the thing I’d miss most,” Phil laughed, a bit grimly. “I could have told you, any day in the past six years that you were the thing I’d miss most—”

                “Phil—” Dan slipped his arms out of Phil’s hands and reached for his waist instead, stepping closer. “Stop me if I’m reading this wrong, okay?”

                And then Dan kissed Phil. It wasn’t like last time at all – it was deep, and close. They were so close everywhere – Dan’s arms tightly locked around Phil’s waist and Phil’s hooked around his neck. It felt like coming home – somehow, but it also felt like an explosion into existence. It was new but it was also familiar. Dan didn’t want to pull away, didn’t want to ever go back to life without his lips on Phil’s. Nothing was as worth his time.

                He did, though, pull away, after what felt like a very short time but Dan knew was a long while. “The Ball – it wasn’t that I didn’t want to—”

                “I know—”

                “I was just so scared – I tried to tell you, but you were asleep—” Dan’s cheeks were stinging, Phil’s skin was red.

                “I know—”

                “But it was never because I didn’t want to. I always wanted to—” Dan couldn’t seem to stop himself from explaining, now that Phil knew. Phil knew everything, Phil needed to know everything. He _was_ everything.

                “I know—”

                “It had nothing to do with my not liking you, I’ve always liked you, from the very beginning—”

                “I know—”

                “Loved you,” Dan corrected himself, slowing down. “I’ve always loved you. I love you.”

                Phil stared with wide eyes for a moment, then smiled. He pressed his lips back to Dan’s – a bit more messily this time. Their faces were getting numb. “I love you too. Always have.”

                “I know—” Dan replied, grinning wider than he ever had. “But can we go back to the castle?”

                Phil giggled and nodded. “I’m so cold, but I only noticed now.”

                “It’s because we matter more than the cold—”

                “I could have told you that ages ago, too.”

                They smiled at each other like idiots and Phil leaned in and then they were kissing again – it was cold and Dan couldn’t feel his fingers but he could feel every single bit of Phil’s lips on his.

 

                Dan was sitting with his back against a wide tree by the Black Lake – as May was drawing to a close, he and Phil were spending more time out in the sun, revising.

                They weren’t the steamy rendezvous out in the Hogwarts grounds like Dan had pictured, but it was necessary. Phil’s N.E.W.T.s were coming up way too quickly, as was the final task. They hadn’t had any explanation or hints about it, so there wasn’t much they could do. Dan spend a lot of time reading up on past Triwizard Tournaments, trying to get some sort of idea, but with the year almost over, he had to catch up on the schoolwork he’d put aside earlier in the year.

                He noticed Phil walking down to the tree before Phil was able to see him, but he was late, so Phil could fairly assume he was there. Dan pretended to study for Charms until Phil reached him, knocked the book unceremoniously out of Dan’s hands so that he could climb on him. Phil had his legs on either side of Dan’s, and he briefly hoped that it meant it would be one of the rarer sexy times by the lake, but Phil just let his head fall onto Dan’s shoulder in what seemed to be exhaustion.

                “Ludo Bagman was here today. Had all us champions go down to the Quidditch pitch. The final task is a maze – I guess we’ll have to fight spells and creatures to get through it.”

                Dan hummed thoughtfully, rubbed a hand absentmindedly up and down Phil’s back. “It sounds pretty straightforward.”

                Phil sighed. “Yeah, just a matter of doing it, I suppose. Do you think there’s anything to practice for? It seems like I’ll just have to improvise.”

                “Well – there are a few magical creatures that pop up in the Tournaments over and over, we could figure out how to handle those. We can guess too, figure out some creatures that will be a challenge but not life-threatening. The spells will be harder, though.”

                Phil nodded into his shoulder, but didn’t say anything.

                “You okay?” Dan pushed Phil away by the shoulders, gently, to watch his face.

                He nodded. “There’s just so much to do before the year ends. And then I’ve got to figure out what I’m actually going to do with my life, you know—"

                “Hey, same—” Dan went for the joke, Phil smiled, but it was a smile of pity. “I thought you were going to do something with Herbology or Care of Magical Creatures—”

                “Wow, thanks for those specific career choices, how did I not think of that—”

                Dan kissed him, just to shut him up. And because he was in love with him, but then again, he always was.

 

                It wasn’t easy, to practice for the third task. Between their exams and assignments, they were both drowning in homework, and when they did actually find time to practice, it was hard to figure out what exactly to practice for.

                The Hogwarts professors seemed to be taking a bit of pity on Phil, though – McGonagall had given Phil’s class an odd speech about how certain kinds of Transfiguration were not used in day to day life, but in special circumstances were very useful. She then taught them how to shrink themselves slightly, to get out of tight spaces – she had taught them this in the fifth year and when Cedric asked if it would be on their N.E.W.T.s, she took a moment to remember that that’s what they were preparing for.

                Hagrid was probably even worse—he had given Phil three extra assignments on seemingly random magical creatures, the latest being a sphinx.

                “I want five hundred words on how to get past one—” Phil said, in his unnervingly accurate impression of Hagrid, “Not how to kill one, mind you – just how to get _past_ one—”   

                Dan laughed so hard he had doubled over, right in the middle of the corridor between classes. “Okay, adding it to the list.”

                The list was growing longer and longer – things the professors hinted at, things that the champions were commonly up against in past Tournaments, things that he figured that Phil should prepare for, just in case.

                Phil was being cooperative this time, at least. He had made an agreement with Dan that they would spend half of each evening studying, half of it practicing, and they got one night a week off to just be a couple.

                It didn’t do anything to ease the sense of doom that was starting to cling to Dan, though. Being with Phil had halted it, for a while, but now it was everywhere. Wherever he went, he was reminded that Phil was going into this task in the dark, probably unprepared. And if Phil even made it through unharmed, he was going to be out in the wizarding world alone, soon. With the threat of Death Eaters still nagging at him, Dan couldn’t loosen up. He was a nightmare to be around.

                It was almost unbearable the day before the third task. Dan had finished his exams and he was sure he’d done fine, but his mind wasn’t there. He was sick with nerves, running off to the toilets every other hour, picking at the dry skin on his fingers until it bled, his jaw almost always clenched tight.

                “I’ll be fine—” Phil was stroking Dan’s hair soothingly – they were lying out by the lake again and now that all the schoolwork was done, there was little to do. Dan had half-heartedly suggested that they practice those shrinking spells again, but neither he nor Phil wanted to spend the night not touching.

                “You don’t know you’ll be fine.”

                “I was fine during the first two.”

                “You burnt half your face off in the first challenge.”

                “Yes, but only because I didn’t have you to help me.”

                Dan sighed and pulled himself up to sit and leaned his forehead onto Phil’s. “I don’t want you to do it.”

                “I know,” Phil stroked his thumb across Dan’s cheek, rested his hand on the side of his face. Dan leaned into it too eagerly, but he didn’t have the emotional capacity to be embarrassed about it. “But I’m ready, and after the second task I have an advantage – I think I can win it, Dan.”

                Phil’s eyes were sparkling with excitement. It was all wrong. “Phil, I don’t think you should do it, seriously.”

                Phil shook his head, laughing fondly.

                “I’ve got a bad feeling, Phil,” Dan tried to show it in his eyes, this pit of dread that began to grow when Phil’s name was picked from the Goblet and had now taken over Dan’s thoughts. “I can’t explain it, but it’s going to go wrong.”

                “I can’t back out, even if I wanted to,” Phil reminded Dan gently, pressing a soft kiss into the corner of his mouth. “We should have gotten together way earlier – I never would have entered if I knew it would bother you this much.”

                Dan whined – it wasn’t fair. “I can’t lose you, you don’t know—”

                “I do know—” Phil interrupted. “When you weren’t at the lake that morning I realized – and when I found you down there – I know how you feel, which is also why I know it’ll be okay.”

                “You can’t know that,” Dan said, for what felt like the thousandth time.

                Phil nodded. “I guess not. But I’m very damn sure.” Phil started to stand and pulled Dan to his feet with him – they had nothing to gather, no books left to study.

                “It’s barely dark,” Dan whined as Phil began to lead him back to the castle.

                “Yeah, but I want to get to bed a bit early.”

                “You’re abandoning me?” Dan asked – god he was selfish.

                Phil grinned. “Who said you weren’t invited?”

                “Oh.”

                “Everyone’s going to be in the common room late – they’re having a party to celebrate the end of exams. I thought you might like to sleep in my bed, tonight—”

                Dan nodded quickly, and Phil leaned over to kiss him on the temple. “Or, you know, not sleep—” Dan saw Phil blush out of the corner of his eye, didn’t want to turn to look him straight on. Not yet.

                “We could not sleep too, if you wanted,” Phil’s voice was tentative, almost shy.

                “And if you wanted.”

                “I do,” Phil looked down at his feet. “Want to not sleep with you, I mean.”

                “Same,” Dan finally turned to grin at Phil – there was a little less blue and a bit more black in his eyes than usual. “And sleep with you, too.”

                Phil shook his head, giggling. They walked through the deserted Entrance Hall, over to the stairs to the basement. They stopped walked as Phil struggled with the door for a moment, and Dan watched him bite his lip, then surged forward to kiss him.

                Phil had gotten the door open so he led Dan through it with a hand on his back, then closed it behind them. He pressed Dan into the door, one hand grabbed at his waist and the other was beside his head. Dan tangled his fingers into Phil’s hair, pressing into his mouth with an urgency he hadn’t felt before. Phil’s leg slotted between Dan’s, their bodies were as close as possible but it still wasn’t enough.

                Dan turned away from the kiss, gasping for breath. “Phil—”

                “I know—”

                “Can we—?”

                “ _Yes_ – god yes – let’s just get to my bed—”

                “But I need—”

                “I know, I do too—”

                “Phil—”

                “I know—”

                “ _Please_ —”   

                “Please what?”

                Please don’t go into that maze. Please don’t risk your life. Please don’t ever leave – please stay. Please, let this be forever. “Please everything—”

                “Okay, Dan—”

                By the time they got to Phil’s bed, Dan was red all over and practically crying, Phil was flushed and concerned.

                “What’s going on?”

                “I just _need_ you—”

                “Are you sure there’s nothing—”

                “ _Yes_ —”

                “Then why are you—”

                “Because I _love_ you—”

                “I love you too—”

                “And I _need_ you—”

                “I’m right here, Dan—”

                Dan thought that he’d just start sobbing if he tried to talk about it anymore, so instead he just pulled Phil down and kissed him firmly, desperately.

 

                When Dan woke the next morning, he was alone and the bed was cold.

 

                Dan knew that Phil’s family wouldn’t mind if he followed them around – he’d been to visit in the summer a few times and they were lovely people. But he wasn’t sure what Phil had told them about him and he didn’t want to make anything awkward, especially not when they were here to watch him in the Tournament after not having seen them in almost eight months. They were a close family, and he knew that it had taken a toll on them for Phil to stay at Hogwarts for the Yule Ball.

                He didn’t see them at lunch – he had slept right through breakfast. He briefly wished Phil had woken him, but lacking any more sleep would have made him even more anxious, so it was probably for the best.

                He found Jack and Lee at the Gryffindor table – they waved him over and he slid in next to Jack.

                “Where were you, last night?” Lee asked, and Jack raised his eyebrows suggestively.

                “And this morning! Did you come to Gryffindor tower at all?”

                Dan shook his head – his mind was strangely numb. The sense of doom was there, but it was most present in his stomach and chest. His head was holding up okay, considering the massive fear that Phil would die in a couple of hours.

                “Is that a _love bite_?” Lee pointed to the side of his neck and he reached for it without expression. He pressed lightly – it felt like a small bruise.

                “It _is_ a love bite,” Jack tore Dan’s hand away, examining it. “I can’t believe you didn’t get caught – last time I tried to sneak into Hazel’s—”

                “Oh, leave him alone,” Louise slid into the seat across from Dan. She seemed to still have makeup on from the night before, and Dan has a hunch that Hufflepuff wasn’t the only house celebrating the night before. “I have a spell for this, want me to try it?”

                Dan nodded and she pulled out her wand, mumbled something too quick to catch, and then smiled. “There, all gone.”

                “You’ve _got_ to give me that spell—” Jack started, Lee laughed.

                “You know you’re not getting into the Slytherin girls’ dormitories. Give it a rest.”

                “I can _try_ , though—”

                Lee and Louise teased Jack, and Dan tuned it out. He kept checking the door but no Lesters appeared.

                They all hung back as long as they could, letting Dan pick at his food, but his friends finally pulled him away from the table.

                “You look like you need a nap,” Jack suggested, voice uncharacteristically kind, and Dan knew that he must really look terrible.

                “And Suki missed you—” Louise added, though her tone suggested that Suki did just fine in Louise’s care.

                Dan nodded and followed them – he had a feeling that there was something he was supposed to do, but he knew that there wasn’t. He kept looking for Phil as they made their way upstairs, glancing down every corridor and out every window.

                It wasn’t until he was in his own dormitory that he saw them – out the window, Phil and his brother were laughing, heads thrown back at something Hagrid had said. Their parents were laughing too, more subdued, and kept looking around in awe. It was, after all, their first time in Hogwarts, seeing as they were both muggles. He noticed that Phil was touching at his neck, readjusting his scarf. He remembered sucking into the skin there, licking over the dark bruise—

                Dan walked right back downstairs without even changing, but Louise was waiting by the stairs. “Oh, no you don’t. You need rest.”

                “I need – what was that spell you used? On my neck? It’s too hot for a scarf and he shouldn’t have one in the maze anyways—”

                “I can go find him, you go to bed—”

                “No, it has to be me—”

                Louise led him over to the window and sat him down. He couldn’t see Hagrid’s hut from there.

                “You have time, I’ll teach it to you in a bit, okay? Just close your eyes for a bit.”

                Dan did as he was told, curled up in the chair, but his sleep was fitful, and strange dreams plagued his mind. He woke up over and over again, though at some point Suki jumped up into his lap and began to purr, as if she was trying to calm him.

                When Louise was finally back to shake him awake, he barely had time to change and get down to dinner. The Lesters were there, sitting at the Hufflepuff table, surrounded by Phil’s friends. Louise taught him the love bite spell in a hushed tone as she ate and he played with his food.

                The enchanted ceiling began to fade from blue to a dusky purple, and Dumbledore made the announcement, calling the champions down to the stadium. The Gryffindor table burst into applause as Harry Potter stood and walked to the doors – Phil took a bit longer to stand, hugging his parents and his brother, then PJ and Cedric.

                “Meet you in the stands—” Dan murmured to Louise and rushed out, managing to get into the entrance hall at the same time as Phil.

                “Dan! I’m sorry I left this morning, you were tossing and turning all night and I just wanted to let you rest—”

                “That’s okay. Give me your scarf.”

                “Why?” Phil’s hand flew absentmindedly to the love bite, and Dan smiled.

                “Louise gave me a spell for that.”

                “Oh, alright—” Phil handed Dan his Hufflepuff scarf and Dan fixed the mark – it faded into its own middle, then disappeared altogether. He was a little sad to see it go and suddenly wished that he hadn’t let Louise remove his.

                “It’s gone,” Dan’s voice shook, but Phil pretended not to notice.

                “Good!” He rubbed over the spot, and Dan knew that he missed it too.

                “Mr Lester—” Ludo Bagman called from the doors, having collected the other champions.

                “Be right there—” Phil called back, then turned to kiss Dan quickly on the lips. “Will you wear it? My scarf?”

                Dan nodded, Phil took it from Dan’s limp grasp and wrapped it gently around his neck.

                “I like it, on you. You’re even perfect for my clothes.”

                “Mr Lester—” Ludo Bagman began again, more uncomfortably. “We really must be going—”

                Phil kissed Dan once more, a little longer than the last. “I love you,” and then he turned to go.

                “I love you too,” Dan said softly, but Phil was too far to hear it.

 

                “Ladies and gentlemen, the third and final task is about to begin! Let me remind you how the points currently stand! Tied in first place, on eighty-five points each – Mr Phil Lester and Mr Harry Potter, both of Hogwarts school!” The crowd was booming cheers around Dan, Ludo Bagman’s voice filled his head. He was standing to see – everyone was standing. Phil was beaming, waving. He looked the crowd over and found Dan, still wrapped tightly in the Hufflepuff scarf. Louise squeezed his arm on one side, Jack patted his shoulder on the other.

                “On my whistle, Phil and Harry – three, two, one—” he gave a short blast of the whistle and they took off, hurrying towards the first fork in the maze. Phil turned to the right, and Harry to the left, and then they were out of sight.

                “Oh god, I can’t watch this—” Dan whined but made no attempt to move, and his friends didn’t push him along. It would be worse to be away, he reminded himself as Viktor Krum prepared to enter the maze.

                Bagman whistled for the second time and Krum took off running. He turned right at the fork, same as Phil.

                After Fleur Delacour entered the maze, the crowd began to subdue, a bit. There were still people standing, craning their necks to see anything they could, but there was nothing to be seen – the entirety of Hogwarts and a sizable portion of Durmstrang and Beauxbatons had gathered to watch a stationary hedge.

                After a very long wait, red sparks flew into the air – one of the champions needed help. McGonagall and Hagrid rushed over, somehow passing through the hedges as though they weren’t even there.

                The crowd was standing with their breath held – Dan was thinking a repetitive mantra in his head: _please let it be Phil, please don’t let it be Phil_ – he didn’t know which was worse. “He’s fine, he’s fine, he’s fine—” It took Dan a long moment to realize that Louise was talking to him, clutching his arm with one hand and rubbing his back with the other.

                Hagrid emerged with McGonagall close behind him, Fleur Delacour unmoving in his massive arms.

                There was an audible gasp, and Madam Maxime rushed forward. The stadium was silent for a long moment, but the headmistress rose and lifted her want to her throat to augment her voice. “She will be alright—”

                Clapping, cheers, but a different kind of cheer. Pity, from some, and relieved defeat from the Beauxbatons students. There were many that cheered in excitement though – it was now a 2/3 chance that a Hogwarts student would win.

                “He’s alright, see?” Louise patted Dan’s shoulder gently.

                “He’s tough,” Jack added, and Dan nodded blankly. This was real. People were getting hurt. Anything could be happening in that maze—

                It was a much, much longer wait for anything else to happen. People were starting to get nervous, confused. “What’s taking so long?” Jack muttered to Louise behind Dan’s back.

                “It’s a challenge, it’s supposed to be difficult—” but she sounded unsure.

                It was sudden, completely out of nowhere when they appeared; three people and the cup, clumped together.

                Dan could see Harry Potter, hunched over on his knees, hair and red robes immediately recognizable. He was shaking, Dan couldn’t tell if he was sobbing or if he was in shock.

                He was leaning over Victor Krum – Krum, who had entered the maze with his celebrity smile, was frozen, eyes wide open.

                There was another, covered partially by Krum, the rest by Harry. Dan craned his neck – he couldn’t quite see – but then, he didn’t need to. There were only three champions in that maze. He knew before he finally caught sight of the jet black hair as Harry shifted. He felt it, he felt the stillness that was all wrong – he was never still. Always fiddling, turning here and there.

                The professors began to swarm, Dumbledore grabbed Harry and turned him – his eyes were glazed over, but panicked. Shocked. He was bleeding from his arm, and he was in shock.

                And now he could see, now Harry wasn’t covering him. Phil Lester was lying still on the ground, eyes shut.

                “They’re – Dumbledore—” Cornelius Fudge approached slowly. Dumbledore was shifting Krum, he was touching Phil’s shoulder. “Dumbledore – they’re dead!”

                “No!” Dan shrieked, voice cracked, completely shattered. And then, the silence broke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please come visit me on tumblr at howelnlester, and thank you so, so much for reading!


	7. The Final Task (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Pain erupted inside of him, everything going white hot. There was no source, no one spot it was worse, it was just pain, everywhere. Phil thought he might have been screaming but he wasn’t sure. His outside body did not exist anymore, it was only the pain._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you to these lovely people: fireboltinsky4, [phanwithdogs](%E2%80%9Cphanwithdogs.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D), and phantangled. You guys made this fic happen!  
> Also a massive massive thank you to anyone that has read it! It's been a long one but I'm happy with it, and I hope you all are too!

                Phil and Harry started rushing into to maze as soon as Bagman’s whistle blew. They hurried to a fork in the road, and Harry paused.

                “See you around,” Phil smiled, and turned to the right. Might as well start somewhere. He slowed his pace to a walk after he rounded the second corner, quickly checking his direction with the pointing spell. He formed a loose plan in his head and worked out which turns would get him closest to the middle of the stadium.

                The creatures could have been worse – he figured. He had worked with the blast-ended skrewts in Care of Magical Creature – they were massive and a pain in the ass but he knew how to handle them.

                He hit a tricky bit where the floor was spelled to flip him upside down – he got out of it but he was dizzy afterwards and had to slow his pace.

                He ran into Fleur once, and Harry a couple of times. All in all, it wasn’t as bad as he’d been expecting.

                At least, it wasn’t that bad until he ran into Krum. He’d approached with his wand raised, expression a little hazy. “I – uh—” Phil didn’t know what to say, Krum was backing him into a hedge. “I’ll go opposite wherever you do—”

                “ _Crucio_!”

                Pain erupted inside of him, everything going white hot. There was no source, no one spot it was worse, it was just pain, everywhere. Phil thought he might have been screaming but he wasn’t sure. His outside body did not exist anymore, it was only the pain.

                “ _Stupefy_!” Another voice broke him out of his mind, and the pain stopped. Krum pulled Phil by the arms, using him as a shield to reach the corner, and dropped Phil to the ground as he disappeared behind another hedge.

                Phil stayed crumpled on the ground for a moment, and Harry Potter rushed over. “Are you alright?”

                “Yeah, just got to get up,” Phil tried for a chuckle but it was too forced.

                He stood on wobbly feet, and Harry watched in concern.

                “I don’t even – he came up behind me and—” Phil trailed off, took a shaky breath. He didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to feel.

                “I can’t believe this,” Harry stared at the corner of the hedge, shook his head. “I thought he was alright.”

                “So did I,” Phil’s voice was still wobbling, he could still feel it, in a way.

                “Did you head Fleur scream earlier?” Harry asked, and Phil shook his head.

                “Do you think Krum got her, too?”

                “I don’t know,” Harry said slowly and stared off the way Krum went again.

                Phil stood silent for a moment, waiting for Harry to say or do something. He had never felt so lost in his life.

                “Should we – I guess we should keep going—”

                “What?” Harry said, turning back to Phil as if he’d forgotten that he was there. “Oh – yeah, right—”         

                They looked at each other – it was a strange moment. Phil had felt, oddly, that they were on the same team for a minute.

                “I’m going to head—” Harry pointed in the direction Krum had gone, and Phil couldn’t explain his sudden overwhelming desire to protect the kid.

                “Are you sure? Because Krum—”

                “I know,” Harry mumbled.

                “Well – just be careful, okay? We’ve seen what he’s willing to do.”

                They both shuddered a little at the thought, and then Harry was walking away, and Phil turned in the other direction.

                Every path Phil turned to seemed to have an increasingly difficult bit of magic to overcome – he figured it was a good sign, though. If it was harder, he should have been getting closer.

                He listened, as he went on, for more screams. He didn’t know what he’d be able to do, but he still needed to know.

                Finally, after turning a corner, he saw a light. The Triwizard Cup was glowing ahead, and Phil broke into a run. The light was bright, and everything else was blurry and faded. He felt almost hypnotised.

                “Phil! On your left!”

                He heard the voice from behind him but could barely register the instruction – he felt his feet fly out from under him. His glasses were lost in the fall, and so was his wand. He couldn’t see it, he was grasping around blindly beside him. And then something massive appeared above him.

                He heard Harry calling out spells, but they weren’t working. The thing was too big, too heavily armoured, maybe.

                It turned around to face Harry, and Phil flipped onto his stomach, scrambling for either his glasses or his wand – either would be something, at least. He saw a small black blob by his elbow – glasses, good. His wand was only a few feet further – he lunged and turned, shouting the first thing he could think of at the spider – _oh god, the thing was a giant spider_ , and it was holding Harry Potter with it’s front legs.

                “ _Stupefy! Impedimenta! Expelliarmus_!”

                The spider dropped Harry suddenly, and turned back to face Phil.

                “ _Stupefy! Stupefy! Stupefy!_ ”

 _“Stupefy!”_ Harry yelled at the same time as Phil, and the two spells combined sent the spider onto its side _._

“Harry!” Phil couldn’t see Harry anymore, just spider. “Harry! Are you okay?”

                “I’m fine,” Harry called back, panting. “I mean, my leg is fucked—”

                Phil edged around the spider – Harry was sitting, staring at his bleeding leg.

                “Oh, shit—”

                “Take it, then—” Harry said suddenly, and for a long moment Phil had no idea what he meant. “I can’t run, I’ll never beat you to it.”

                Phil stood in front of Harry – fourteen years old, the boy who lived, injured – Phil remembered when he was fourteen and his biggest problem was that he was too scared to ask Dan Howell to go to Hogsmeade with him.

                Phil took a deep breath. Dan was out there in the stands. Dan was waiting for him. Dan just wanted him to come back.

                “You take it. You’ve saved me twice in here, now. You should win.”

                Harry huffed. “That’s not how it works. The one who reaches the cup first gets the points. That’s you. I’m not going to beat you on this leg.”

                Phil looked down at it. Harry really was badly injured.

                “Take it, already—” Harry repeated.

                “No.”

                Harry sighed. “Stop being noble. Just go take it, then we can get out of here.”

                Harry began to try to stand – he was unsteady on his feet.

                “You – you told me about the dragons. If I hadn’t known, I probably wouldn’t have even lived to this point—”

                “I had help on that, though. And besides, you helped me with the egg, so we’re square.”

                “I had help on the egg, too,” Phil argued.

                “We’re still square,” Harry carefully shifted some weight to his bad leg and winced.

                “You stayed behind, on the second task. That should have gotten you more points,” Phil felt himself reddening slightly. “I should have stayed but I – well, what you did was – you should have gotten more points.”

                Harry groaned. “I was the only one dumb enough to take the fucking song seriously.” Harry huffed again – Phil wondered if Harry usually swore this much. He was pretty sure he hadn’t when he was fourteen. But then again, Dan had. “Just take the cup,” Harry added bitterly when Phil let the silence fall.

                “No,” Phil mumbled, Harry sighed.

                “Both of us,” Harry said suddenly, and then, far back down the path, Krum appeared.

                “Okay, okay, go,” Phil wrapped an arm around Harry’s back, Harry gripped his shoulder. They ran as quickly as they could, but Harry wasn’t fast. Phil could hear Krum approaching.

                “On three!” Harry yelled breathlessly as they got closer to the cup.

                “One—” Phil yelled, Krum was right behind them. “Two – three—”

                They jumped and grabbed the cup at the same time, and Phil felt a tugging in his stomach – a portkey, he absently realized – and his feet left the ground, but there was a tight pressure around his right ankle.

                “Fuck!” Phil screamed to no one, kicking his foot around uselessly. Krum had him.

                As quickly as it had started, it was over. Phil’s feet slammed to the ground, Harry fell forward next to him. Krum was only on the ground for a second before he was standing, wand pointed at Phil’s chest. He took a step back.

                “It’s done, what are you doing—”

                “Where are we?” Harry asked weakly, Phil looked around.

                They were no longer on Hogwarts grounds. They were in a small graveyard – and an old one. It was overgrown and the small church to their right was crumbling.

                Krum took a step closer to Phil. Phil took another one back.

                “What are you doing?” Harry asked Krum. He took another step.

                “We have the cup, it’s over—” Phil tried again, but Harry’s head fell into his hands.

                “No!” He screamed, he was clutching his head as if it was burning. Phil looked back to Krum – his eyes were almost glazed over—he wondered if they’d been that way before. He seemed pained though, there was a slight twitch in his neck.

                 “Kill the spare,” a voice hissed, without a speaker. Panic arose in Krum’s eyes, but his hand was steady. Too steady.

                “ _Avada Kedavra_ ,” Krum uttered in a clear voice, and a green light struck Phil right in the chest.

                The force of it knocked him to the ground, pushed the breath right out of his chest, but – he was very much not dead. 

                “Kill him, too,” the hissing voice seemed closer now, less surrounding.

                Another green light flashed and Phil felt another blow, this time to his right side – something heavy, and warm.

                He didn’t dare open his eyes, but he was sure that the blow was Krum, and this time the curse did its job.

                Phil felt sick. Incredibly, overwhelmingly, sick. He needed to turn away. He needed Krum off of him – Krum, who was dead.

                “You!” Harry gasped from much further now, and Phil swallowed hard. He couldn’t move. He needed Krum off of him. He needed to get away. He needed to help.

                Phil tried, cautiously, to move his fingers – the ones that were trapped under dead Krum.

                He was frozen – petrified? Or was he a ghost? But he was breathing – just not moving.

                “It is ready, master,” an unfamiliar voice reached him – it was a little mousey, but the hissing drowned it out quickly.

                “Now—” It said.

                Phil tried to open his eyes a crack, just to see who was there. He was pretty sure his face was hidden by Krum anyways. He couldn’t though – probably petrified. Or dead.

                “ _Bone of the father, unknowingly given_ —” the mousey voice was speaking again. Where was Harry? Was Harry dead, too? “— _you will renew your son_!”

                There was a horrible sizzling noise, like something frying. “ _Flesh – of the servant – willingly given – you will revive your master_ —”

                Screaming. Someone was screaming. Phil tried to open his eyes, tried to move his arms. He was still frozen.

                There was gasping and moaning – it was the mousey voice. Phil was almost sure. It couldn’t be Harry.

                “ _B-blood of the enemy – forcibly taken, you will resurrect your foe_ —”

                Phil’s stomach sank. He felt sick again. There were no screams, no gasping, but Phil knew. Suddenly, somehow, Phil knew. The Dark Mark in the summer, all those Death Eaters at the Quidditch World Cup. Dan was right – they were back. _He_ was back.

                Phil wanted to be able to move. He wanted to cover his ears, he didn’t want to hear what he was hearing. But he was still frozen, so he thought of Dan and tried to pretend he was anywhere else in the world.

 

                Phil’s back hit the ground hard and then he felt weight on his chest – Krum was still partially laid across him. Harry had one hand clasped around Phil’s wrist – he must have somehow grabbed Krum and the Triwizard Cup with his other hand. The portkey brought them somewhere else, and the new setting was silent. All he could hear were Harry’s heavy breaths.

                But then there was a scream – a horrible, broken scream. “No!”

                Dan. Dan was there, wherever there was. Phil tried to open his eyes – he found that he wasn’t frozen anymore – and he saw Dumbledore’s face hovering over him.

                Noise erupted – screams, stomping, but something held Phil still. Dumbledore was watching Phil carefully, eyes hard. Almost imperceptibly – so small that Phil barely saw it, Dumbledore shook his head.

                Phil let his eyes fall closed, and continued to be dead. Harry let go of his wrist and seemed to be drawn away, Krum was shifted over.

                “He needs to go to the hospital wing, he’s ill, he’s injured—” Phil didn’t recognize the voice, but it held authority.

                There was some sort of argument about where Harry was to go, but then there were hands around him, and then they were gone, and he was being lifted by someone’s spell.

                “To your office, please—” Dumbledore said, and he heard some protests.

                “The hospital wing would be more—” Professor McGonagall said.

                “No, your office—” Dumbledore said, and then there was mumbling that he couldn’t make out.

                The noise grew louder – screaming, but also crying. People were crying. Phil wondered where his parents were, and his brother. Would they come to Professor McGonagall’s office too?

                And then the noise began to fade. He heard doors creaking open before too long, and a single set of footsteps hang loud.

                “Can you open your eyes, Mr Lester?” Professor McGonagall asked abruptly, and Phil held his breath for a moment before nodding and blinking up to look at her. They were in the corridor near her office. Her forehead was wrinkled in concern. “Can you speak?”

                “Uh—” Phil’s voice cracked, he cleared his throat.

                “You don’t have to yet – I was just – is it true? Is _he_ back?”

                Phil swallowed hard and nodded. She pressed her lips together.

                A door flew open and she floated him inside, then tipped his head up and settled him into a chair. The door locked behind them, she sat at her deck.

                “How – how am I alive?” Phil asked, voice breaking again. “Krum – he—” Phil trailed off, McGonagall sighed.

                “Would you like something to drink? Butterbeer?”

                Phil nodded and she conjured a glass for him. He took a sip and his throat felt a bit clearer.

                “Can you tell me what happened?” She asked when he put the glass down. He nodded.

                He told her about the maze, about Krum and _Crucio_ , and then about the graveyard. About Krum pointing his wand right at Phil’s chest and _those words_ , the words that meant that Phil should not be there. About the second killing curse, and Krum hiding Phil from view.

                Then he told her about the mousey voice, the bone and the flesh and the blood. About the Death Eaters coming when they were called, about Harry and Krum’s voice, dead Krum, asking Harry to bring the bodies back. Like he knew.

                When he was done, McGonagall sat in silence for a long time. He sipped at his Butterbeer but he found it was making him rather ill. Or maybe he just was ill. He felt terrible.

                “It is my belief that Viktor Krum was acting under the Imperius Curse.”

                Phil nodded. It was obvious, once someone else brought it up.

                “You agree?”

                Phil nodded again. “Before – when we got to the graveyard, right before he, you know – well – he looked like he was in pain. I looked him in the eyes. It looked like he was – I don’t know—”

                “Fighting?” McGonagall asked, and Phil nodded. “You took Defence Against the Dark Arts this year?”

                Phil nodded.

                “Then you should know that the Unforgivable Curses won’t work if the person using the spell doesn’t mean it.”

                “But – the _Crucio_ —”  

                “Killing and torturing are very different, Mr Lester.”

                Phil nodded. He had no other explanation for it.

                She took a deep breath and leaned forward slightly in her chair. “You know, I presume, the danger that this poses? The return of he-who-must-not-be-named and his followers?”

                Phil nodded. “I’m – I’m muggle-born.”

                McGonagall sighed. “Not only are you a muggle-born, Mr Lester. You are a witness.”

                “I’m – but—”

                “You were there. That puts you in a lot of danger.”

                Phil nodded and his eyes began to sting. “I didn’t mean to be—”

                “I know, but you were.”

                “Well – what am I supposed to do?”

                McGonagall leaned back in her chair. “Have you heard of the Order of the Phoenix?”

                Phil shook his head.

                “Last time, a group of wizards and witches fought the Death Eaters and he-who-shall-not-be-named. Even when he fell, Professor Dumbledore kept track of those who remained. There is a group of us that can help you – a small group, but we’re here.”

                Phil nodded, lost for words.

                “Though, I suspect that Dumbledore will want to keep your survival as quiet as possible – you’ll have to go into hiding on your own.”

                “Hiding?” Phil croaked.

                “Yes, Mr Lester. Hiding.” McGonagall sighed but did so with sympathy. “If he-who-must-not-be-named knew that there was a living witness—” she trailed off, pressed her lips into a thin line. “You would be a target. And if you’re not hiding, you will be killed.”

                “Oh,” Phil said, weakly.

                “I’m so sorry that this has happened to you, Phillip.”

                Phil nodded. He had never heard her use a student’s first name before.

                “I’m going to go check on things, talk to Albus. I need you to stay here while I’m gone.” McGonagall conjured a plate of sandwiches and more Butterbeer. “Help yourself,” she said, then she left and Phil heard the lock click behind her.

                 He didn’t help himself to the sandwiches. If he ate, Phil was pretty sure that he’d be sick. Instead he slumped back in his chair and closed his eyes.

                He needed to find his parents – he needed them to know that he was okay. And he needed to find Dan – Dan and his worrying and all his help – he needed to know.

                Maybe it was Dumbledore, shaking his head right after Phil opened his eyes, maybe Phil was just in shock. He didn’t get up, he didn’t go looking for his family.

                Instead he fell into a restless sleep, head hanging awkwardly in the chair. He dreamed of Viktor Krum and the panic in his eyes and the screams from the graveyard. He dreamed of green lights and long paths through a maze.

                He heard without fully waking the door opening and closing, the lock clicking again. There were two sets of footsteps. “Hmm, I suppose we need to wake him?”

                Phil opened his eyes and, for the second time that day, was staring at Professor Dumbledore.

                McGonagall was beside him, and she was murmuring with her wand pointed at a satchel.

                “I’m sorry, we do need to get you ready to leave,” Dumbledore added, and Phil straightened in his chair.

                “Leave?”

                “Yes, you need to leave soon. Before we get together with the other professors to plan your funeral.”

                “My – no – my family—”

                Dumbledore smiled sadly. “They will know when it is safe for them to know. I’m sorry.”

                Phil wanted to cry. He so, so badly wanted to cry. But he strangely thought of his Dan, the night of the Yule Ball in Gryffindor tower, and how he needed to prove he could do it – just in case.

                So, Phil nodded. Dumbledore turned to McGonagall. “You’ve packed him that tent from my office?”

                She nodded without breaking her spell work. Dumbledore turned back to Phil.

                “It would be best if we did not know where you were. We will be able to find you, if we need to, but until then—” Dumbledore leaned on the edge of McGonagall’s desk. It occurred to Phil very suddenly that this was probably the first real conversation he’d ever had with Dumbledore. “You know protective spells – you did very well in charms. Use them, keep yourself hidden. Don’t try to contact your family or your close friends, the Death Eaters may be watching them.”

                “But – I don’t want them in danger—”

                “I promise that we will be looking out for them. They will be safe as long as you are – well, dead.”

                Phil swallowed hard and nodded again. He could do that. Hide, be dead – it was to keep his family safe, and Dan safe, so he could do it.

                McGonagall stopped her muttering and put her wand away. “You have some muggle clothes here, I assume?”

                Phil nodded.

                “You’ll need to pack them, and maybe some other things. Get anything that will be useful, but don’t take anything that might alarm your friends. Just what you need.” She handed him the bag. “I’ve placed an undetectable extension charm on it, everything you need will fit.”

                Phil nodded, stood.

                “Your classmates should all be asleep, do not wake them.” McGonagall warned and he nodded again.

                “Now?”

                Dumbledore smiled, McGonagall almost did too.

                “Now would be a good time, yes. Be quick.”

                So Phil turned and hurried back down to the entrance hall, down the stairs. The castle was quiet, it was late. Phil probably should have been more careful anyways, but he was also probably still in shock.

                He should have heard the feet shuffling, the muffled sobs. But when he turned into the corridor, Dan was pacing in front of the door to the Hufflepuff common room with half his face buried in Phil’s scarf. There was a moment before he saw Phil, a moment where Phil could see that Dan was lost, Dan was breaking. He could have turned back. Hidden around a corner until Dan left, or gone back to McGonagall and Dumbledore. He could have – should have. But instead he stepped forward, and Dan’s head snapped up.

                “Phil?” He sniffed and began to rush forward, and Phil began to rush forward, and Dan threw himself into his arms, and then Phil was crying, too. Dan had his arms around Phil’s waist but they wouldn’t stay still – he was grabbing at Phil’s shoulders and back and arms, and he was crying harder and harder.

                “Shh – please—” Phil sniffed, Dan took a few shuddery breaths.

                “I thought – you – you – were dead—”

                “I know, but I’m not, I’m here. I’m okay.”

                Dan pulled back a bit to look at Phil, and then pressed his lips to Phil’s with a sort of desperation that Phil had never seen before. It was messy – they were both crying and sniffling. But it was intense. It was long. Dan pressed himself as far into Phil as he could, breathing hard and fast, and Phil pressed back. He needed this – they both did. They needed to feel the _real_ and the _alive_ and the _there_. They needed to be teenagers again for a moment.

                Phil finally pulled away, wiped his nose and under his eyes.

                “I have to leave—”

                “I know,” Dan wiped his eyes.

                “I – Dan, you-know-who is back, and if he knew I was alive—”

                “I know,” Dan sniffled.

                “I have to go. I have to hide—”

                “I’ll come.”

                “You can’t come – you – you have another year of school—”

                Dan let out a weak sob. “I’m not letting you go on your own. I’m not – I can’t go another minute thinking you might be – I’m coming—”

                “It’s – it’s not safe, Dan.”

                “I don’t care—”

                “I do. I need to know you’re safe, and—”

                “If I can’t be with you, I’ll just be in even more danger. There was – it was hours, I thought you were gone and I – I didn’t even know why I was here but I couldn’t go back to my room, I couldn’t – you don’t understand—”

                Phil let Dan trail off, watched him with his lips pressed together. “Dan – what if something happens? What if you come and we – and we—”

                “Then we deal with it. Please – I can’t let you go on your own. Would you let me, if it were me?”

                Phil fell silent. Was it different? Was it fair to expect Dan to forget about him and go to class? If Dan were going to disappear, and Phil would have no way to contact him—

                “Okay.”

                “Okay?” Dan wiped his eyes again. He couldn’t seem to stop crying.

                “But we have to be fast – go to your room, pack some stuff. If anyone asks, say you’re going home.”

                “Okay, okay—” Dan kissed Phil, not as desperately this time, but about as messy.

                “Wait for me outside of her office, okay?”

                “Yes, okay—” Dan tore off down the hall, around the corner. Phil watched him go and felt a bit guilty – McGonagall wouldn’t like it, wouldn’t want Dan to go.

                But really, doing the Tournament had, if anything, taught Phil that he needed Dan, and Dan needed him. When it came down to it, he wasn’t even surprised.

 

                Phil got to McGonagall’s office first, some muggle clothes and books bouncing loose around the bottom of the bag. He paced for a few minutes, and then Dan appeared around the corner with his trunk.

                Dan rushed over and Phil opened his bag, “There’s an undetectable extension charm—”

                Dan started stuffing the trunk into the tiny bag. “Jack and Louise were up waiting for me – I told them I couldn’t take it and I was going him—”

                “Good—”

                The trunk landed on the bottom of the bag with a thud, right next to the tent McGonagall had packed him.

                “This might not go well—” Phil nodded his head at McGonagall’s door.

                “It’ll be fine—” Dan said, and grabbed Phil’s hand, knocked on her door with the other.

                The door swung open and Dan pulled Phil inside, staring McGonagall down. She had a bitter expression on her face, but Dumbledore was smiling.

                “I – he was outside my common room, I didn’t mean to—” Phil tried to explain, but no one looked at him.

                “If he has to go, I’m going,” Dan’s voice was hard, but his eyes were still red and puffy.

                “Mr Howell, this isn’t—”

                “Minerva,” Dumbledore interrupted, and Dan and Phil turned to stare at him in surprise. “You can’t forbid love—”

                She sighed. “I don’t have a problem with love, I have a problem with children running away—”

                “I’m not letting him go without me,” Dan said, and Dumbledore laughed.

                “Looks like the decision has been made!”

                “Albus—”

                “Jack and Louise – my friends, they saw me in the common room. I told them I was leaving because I couldn’t be here without him.” Dan looked at Phil, Phil’s eyes filled with tears again.

                Dumbledore nodded. “Logical, and not necessarily a lie – good, good. So, you’ll use floo powder to enter the Hog’s Head – we have an ally there – and then you will apparate elsewhere. Mr Lester, you’ve taken your apparition test?"

                Phil nodded. “I passed.”

                “You can use Side-Along Apparition?”

                “Yes,” Phil squeezed Dan’s hand.

                “Then, I think that’ll be all.” Dumbledore gestured to the fireplace, and McGonagall turned away. “We’ll contact you when it’s safe to come back. But remember – do not contact your families. We will watch out for them, but if you contact them, it could put them in danger.”

                Phil nodded, Dan did too.

                “We have a war coming,” Dumbledore said rather seriously. “I do not know when, or if, Voldemort will be defeated. It will be very unsafe in magical communities for the next little while. Especially for—” Dumbledore gestured to Phil.

                “Muggle-borns.”

                “And those who know the truth, those who speak the truth.”

                Dan and Phil looked to one another. “You don’t have to come,” Phil whispered.

                “I know.” Dan responded, and he didn’t move.

                Dumbledore smiled at them – a small smile, but a smile. “Be safe.” He held out a bag of floo powder and they each took a handful. “Get out quickly.”

                Phil nodded and stepped forward first, ducked into the fireplace and said in his clearest voice “The Hog’s Head.” He shot out onto the floor of the pub, completely empty.

                Seconds later Dan appeared and reached out his hand. Phil grasped it tightly and pulled him up.

                They looked at each other. Dan kissed Phil – or maybe Phil had kissed Dan. It was quick. “Where do we go?” Dan asked, a little desperately.

                “I – I have an idea—” Phil looked down at their hands, fingers interlocked. He draped the bag over his shoulder and across his chest so he could hold Dan’s other hand too. “Trust me?”

                “Of course,” Dan breathed and Phil nodded. Closed his eyes and focused hard, then twisted himself and Dan into the blackness, away from all that they once knew.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you thank you so much for reading! Come visit me on tumblr at [howelnlester](%E2%80%9Chowelnlester.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D)!


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